“The loss of love is not nearly as painful as our resistance to accepting it is.” — Tigress Luv
Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Farouk Radwan. Farouk authors the site, 2KnowMyself.com, and his super skill is focusing on self-awareness and dealing with negative emotions. Here is Farouk on getting over a broken heart …
Broken hearted? … Don’t worry, here are 10 ways to get back on your feet again:
- Kill uncertainty — People usually accept death faster than they accept breakups because they know the deceased isn’t coming back. In short, uncertainty prolongs the pain, and what hurts the most is the uncertainty, not the breakup itself.
- Stay away from negative media — Most people do the same mistake right after breaking up which is listening to music that contains negative suggestions such as “I cant live without him” or “my life is unbearable after her”. These messages program the mind, and prevent a quick recovery.
- Don’t keep yourself busy — Everyone tries to keep themselves busy after a breakup, but research has shown that thoughts that are suppressed become stronger, and then return back. Focus on accepting what happened, not on suppressing it.
- Stop bargaining – Don’t hold your phone and wait for the person to call. Don’t go to the same places you used to go to together in order to bump into them by chance but instead tell yourself that this is over.
- Know that there are other potential partners out there – This one concept is a myth. According to psychology, whenever we find a person who meets the criteria stored in our brain, then we will fall in love with them.
- Restore your social life — Lots of people do the mistake of isolating themselves from friends and relatives when they get into a relationship That makes them 100% dependent on their partner and that’s one of the main reasons they suffer more when they breakup.
- Take your time to express your emotions – Don’t suppress your emotions. Even cry if you feel like it. You have to express your emotions because the burden of suppressing them might add to your negative feelings.
- Stop stalking your ex — Whether its visiting their face book profile or asking about them, these actions will result in giving your mind some more false hope and that would prevent recovery.
- Build self confidence – Sometimes the main reason people feel bad after a breakup is because they feel rejected, not that they really miss that person. Building self confidence would help you feel worthy even if you were rejected.
- Don’t use relationships to escape pain — Were you using the relationship as a way to escape from pain? Some people get into relationships just to escape from the pain they are experiencing in their lives. Be brave, face your life problems and learn how to be in control of your emotions that would help you from becoming dependent on a relationship. Relationship dependency is similar to drugs where people take them in order to escape from pain rather than facing their problems.
What works for you? … What do you know now that you wish you knew then that would have made dealing with break ups, a whole lot better?