Comments on: How To Overcome Mistrust

By: JD

JD — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 07:49:43 +0000

@ Christopher

Thanks for stopping by.

Yes, communication is key. Especially the empathic listening kind.

By: Christopher J Combrink

Christopher J Combrink — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 07:24:17 +0000

I do believe that I’ve just stumbled across a blog that’s worth reading..

The key to all situations of miss-trust, IMHO, is communication. If it is unfounded, then communication will sort it out. However, if you’re genuinely a tit, well then… yes.

I don’t have much time right now, but I’ll definitely be revisiting here this evening or perhaps tomorrow when I’m sick of the family.

By: 43 Memorable Posts In The Blogosphere From 2008 - Spiritual Blog

43 Memorable Posts In The Blogosphere From 2008 - Spiritual Blog — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 06:11:57 +0000

[...] Life Reboot How To Focus: Five Levels of Mental Focus You Might Not Aware of at Life Optimizer How To Overcome Mistrust at Sources of Insight What To Do When Someone Is Unpleasant Towards You at lifemadegreat.com 5 [...]

By: Stacey / Create a Balance

Stacey / Create a Balance — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 03:22:02 +0000

FYI – My copy of the book just arrived in the mail this week. Thanks for the book suggestion!

By: J.D. Meier

J.D. Meier — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:47:54 +0000

@Sara – Beautiful point. It takes the wind out of the sails and yes, integrity is yet another way of keeping life simple.

By: Sara at On Simplicity

Sara at On Simplicity — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 04:30:27 +0000

Admitting mistakes is so important. When I just admit mistakes, I can stop worrying about who’s out to bust me: there’s nothing to “bust.” Integrity is just another way of keeping life simple.

By: J.D. Meier

J.D. Meier — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 15:58:58 +0000

@Harmony

I know exactly what that’s like, but it’s easy for me to really listen at this point simply because I’ve been in an environment where you have to divorce your ego and get your thinking beat up daily. I’m surrounded by people trained in critical thinking and precision questioning and answering. Sometimes I’m so busy listening, I forget any points I had

Two techniques that help me a lot are:
1. Challenge myself to be able to echo back anybody’s arguments/perspectives in detail.
2. Ask more than I tell. Statements create arguments. Questions to understand give the other person a change to share the air and feel valued and make their point.

One way I stay in the right mindset when I ask questions to understand is I remind myself – “see it through their eyes; be in their shoes.”

I think there’s also stages of communication. In the beginning, it’s important to elaborate and understand. This builds rapport and improves thinking. Later, it may be important to spiral down and ask questions that expose issues in the thinking.

By: Harmony/ Goldenzen

Harmony/ Goldenzen — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 08:31:28 +0000

JD
Do you find listening…really listening, without your own agenda to defend or justify is often the most difficult task in communicating. I have a quick mind, and it is a conscious choice to remove my thinking head from my heart, and simply hold the space for someone else to share their point of view. Thanks!

By: JD

JD — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 06:20:56 +0000

@Alik – I”m a Shrek fan. I forgot about that line.

@Miguel – It sounds like clearing the air, helped you move forward. One thing to remember when people vent is that you are not your behavior and that you get to decide what to do with the feedback. Good job.

@Vered – I think this is particularly true in knowledge work where what you don’t know can hurt you.

@Stacey – It’s one of the best books I’ve read. The patterns and practices in the book are immediately useful and they actually work.

By: Stacey / Create a Balance

Stacey / Create a Balance — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 22:27:05 +0000

Great tactics to try!!! I’m ready to get the book.