It is quite unique and different than anything I have ever heard regarding conflict resolution.
Great Post!!!

Thanks for stopping by. Letting the other person have their way sounds similar to picking your battles carefully. It takes two to tango so avoidance must put a damper on conflict.

One of the latest pieces of advice I got from a mentor was to ask questions over making statements. He said statements get you into arguments, while the right questions can get you out.

Thank you. I think of it as standing on the shoulders of giants. It seems like everytime I crack open a book, there’s a new lesson. I’m often surprised by how many lessons I missed in some books the first time around. Perspective is everything.

I think you’ll have a lot of fun with the approach. I use it on the job daily. Now that I know what to look for, I’m surprised how many conflicts revolve around blame and values. Shifting to choice really helps get things unstuck and keep the energy and momentum flowing.

@Evelyn

The past, present, future really opened my eyes. One of my mentors told me that there’s a lot of power in framing and naming a situation. He’s right. In any conflict, you can be more deliberate whether you want to spend your time on blame, values or choice.

@Ian

You’ll have a fantastic journey with the book. The author uses an incredible mix of humor, stories, experience, insight, and lessons from the Greeks. He includes examples from Eminem to Yoda. The book is seriously a game changer. It’s like a new lens on life.

@Vered

Good point on actions over feelings. When it’s blame or values, it doesn’t feel safe. When it’s not safe it’s easy to slide into fight or flight mode. The future is a safer harbor and a chance to team up.

I really liked this article and found it to be useful. I am definitely buying a copy of that book because I’d like to see more examples of argumentation and persuasion.

Second, I love the concept of moving from blame to opportunity. I see so many areas in my life where I can apply this theory to reality. Thanks!

I haven’t read the book, but now I’m curious. It’s funny how sometimes a second pass through can be a completely fresh perspective. Can you share a few of the techniques you like that work?

@Dr. K

I got your irony Great point on bridging. Once you pointed it out, I really see how bridging is so important. I think it helps with rapport and ultimately turn “seek first to understand, then to be understood” into action and results. I like your use of tense to quickly get to the root of issues and move them forward. Good luck on your writing and I always enjoy your insights.

@Sonia

Thank you. I like how you connect the thinking, feeling, doing and I agree, integration is the key. It’s hard to think one way, while you’re feeling another. The mind-body connection is a good thing.