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If you need to be persuasive, you need to know this secret.  It’s how people who influence without authority improve their effectiveness.  The secret is … character trumps emotion trumps logic.  If you win the heart, the mind follows.  On the other hand, if you win the mind, the heart doesn’t always follow.  For an example of character, think about the impact of the right people in the room asking the right questions. 
When you know this secret, it all makes sense.  You didn’t need more data …

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How can you solve conflict more effectively?  Do you find yourself stuck in arguments that go nowhere fast?  You know the ones, where the longer you argue, the more you spiral down.  If you don’t know the secret of conflict resolution, you can literally spend a lifetime butting heads and locking horns.  If you know the secret, then you can recognize situations and quickly get unstuck.
What’s the secret of conflict resolution?  … Shifting tense.   Rather than focus on the …

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When you don’t get what you want, don’t get angry.  Compliment, disarm, and clarify instead.  Rather than focus on your anger, focus on getting what you want.  In Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated , Dr. David D. Burns writes about complimenting, disarming and clarifying over focusing on your anger.
Compliment, Disarm, and Clarify According to Burns, you should compliment, disarm, and clarify to get what you want:

Compliment.  Instead of telling them off, compliment them on …