Conflict management gets a whole lot easier when you know what you’re dealing with. The problem is, if you don’t have a simple mental model for conflict, things can get complicated fast.

This is a guest post from Eric Brun on lessons learned from the book, Crucial Conversations, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler.

Editor’s note: Meet Jim Camp. This is a guest post by Jim on how to use the power of “No”, to negotiate more effectively.

Conflict happens. How you respond to and resolve conflict will limit or enable your success. Learn the five conflict management styles based on Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument.

“Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion.” —
Aristotle

Judo is a Japanese martial art meaning “gentle way.”

Photo by Daniel E. Bruce
How can you improve conflict resolution?  Do you find yourself stuck in conflicts or arguments that go nowhere fast?  You know the ones, where the longer you argue, the more you spiral down.  If you don’t know the secret of conflict resolution, you can literally spend a lifetime butting heads and locking horns.  If you know the secret, then you can recognize situations and quickly get unstuck.
What’s the secret of conflict resolution?  … Shifting tense.   Rather than focus on the past or the …

“If you can’t go around it, over it, or through it, you had better negotiate with it." — Ashleigh Brilliant
When you don’t get what you want, don’t get angry.  Compliment, disarm, and clarify instead.  Rather than focus on your anger, focus on getting what you want. 
In Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated , Dr. David D. Burns writes about complimenting, disarming and clarifying over focusing on your anger.
Overview Here are keys to negotiating more effectively::

Find a way to genuinely compliment.  …