“If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?” – Casper

When you’re in love the birds sing, the sun shines, and the flowers bloom. When you’re broken hearted, the world turns cold and black.

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I decided to put together a collection of love quotes for your browsing pleasure. I reached far and wide across songs, movies, and famous people to find some of the best quotable quotes.

This is a guest post from bestselling author, Michael Michalko. Michael’s super skill is creative thinking. In fact, he organized a team of intelligence specialists to research, collect, and categorize all known inventive-thinking methods.

To the right is a drawing. What does it look like to you?

Here’s a lens you can use to lower your anxiety and lead yourself and others more effectively.  It’s balancing connection and conviction.  It’s a good, simple model, with a lot of depth behind it.
The key is to be able to take a thoughtful position while staying connected to others who disagree.  I learned this model a few years back during my Doing Leadership @ Microsoft training.  While I liked the model right from the start, I came to appreciate it more, as I put it into practice.  It’s also a …

If you want to lead an optimistic life, learn to argue with yourself. The secret of optimism is not positive thinking. It’s non-negative thinking, according to Martin Seligman in the book Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life.

Don’t Ruminate. Don’t dwell on things that go wrong. According to Martin Seligman, in the book Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life , people who mull over bad events are called ruminators.

Here’s a bit of insight you can see in action every day. Do you ever feel the need to yawn, when somebody else yawns? Do you ever know exactly what somebody is going to say next? How about the situation where the the word is on the tip of your tongue, but neither of you can remember what it is, yet you both know exactly what you mean?

A friend sent me an article about what gets us out of bed each day. It’s “Seeking.” According to Jaak Panksepp, “Seeking” is the granddaddy of our emotional systems. It goes beyond fulfilling our physical needs. We end up in a crazed state of foraging, curiosity and expectancy. The rewards we seek don’t have to actually solve our needs and they don’t need to be physical. Just exploring ideas or coming up with new “ah has” is enough to keep us going.

I wrote an article for Cincom’s Expert Access on Finding Your Eye of the Tiger. It’s really about how to get going when the going gets tough. When Steve Kayser, asked me to write an article, I tried to think of what might be the most relevant, given the economy and how many people are facing new challenges in their life. It seemed to me that the most useful thing I could share was how to find your inner inspiration and drive … your eye of the tiger.

Do you choose your response or act on impulse? Impulse says, “eat the M&M” or “pull the lever”, or “hit the snooze button.” It feels good in the moment. It’s bad for you in the long run.

Your personal belief system can work for you or against you. When it’s working against you, your mood is subject to whatever is going on around you. You feel a sense of entitlement. Love is a requirement for your self-esteem. You take things personally or try to control the world around you. You’re a perfectionist and nothing is ever good enough.

When your personal belief system is working for you, your self-worth is not based on your achievement. You don’t seek others for approval. You’re able to find happiness inside yourself. You don’t feel entitled to everything. Love is not a requirement for your happiness or self-worth.

My favorite definition of power is, “the ability to act.” So personal power is the ability for you to take action. Self-belief is the energy that drives you to take action. Self-efficacy is your belief about how much you can control your own actions and the events that affect your life. One of the worst enemies of personal power is, learned helplessness — why bother if you can’t get results? That’s why self-efficacy is so important. If you have confidence in your ability to get results, you’ll take action and build momentum.

This is a follow up to my post, Manage Energy, Not Time. A few folks have asked me how I figure out energy drains and catalysts. Some people jazz you. Some people don’t. Some tasks jazz you. Some tasks don’t. Just paying attention to this fact can help you start to get a handle on your energy. Energy is your premium resource in today’s world. You need to know where your passions come from, just as much as you need to know what gets in the way. Simply noticing this will help you start to see patterns of things you do or who you spend your time with.

How do you get the people on your side or inspire a vision or change the world? First win the heart. I’m blogging on this because it’s a lesson I’ve learned that shows up in so many ways, time and again. I see it in thought leaders. I see it in people leaders. I see it in everyday, conversational exchange. This is one of those ah-ha’s that when it sinks in, you find opportunities to apply it every day to improve your effectiveness.

Twenty-five years of business in 32 countries has honed my understanding of what sets successful business people apart from those whom success is an elusive quest. Five characteristics persist in leaders I have been honored to know. Although there are more than five characteristics, these five characteristics top the list.

You don’t need to get what you want to be happy. You can be just as happy if you don’t get what you want, as you can if you get what you want. It’s not just sour grapes. You can manufacture your own happiness. It’s synthetic happiness. Dan Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness, teaches us that synthetic happiness is just as real and enduring as real happiness. Dan also teaches us that our longings and worries are overblown because we have the capacity to create happiness within ourselves rather than depend on experiences.

Photo by Hamed Masoumi
Happiness is a skill you can develop.  Some people are born happy, while others have to work at it.  Some have to work harder than others.  Rather than work harder, work smarter.  Luckily, with all the focus on happiness, we now have a better body of knowledge to draw from.  Carlin Flora shares a collection of patterns and practices for skilled happiness from a variety of sources in her article, The Pursuit of Happiness, in Psychology Today.
Key Take Aways …

Why do we need our personal space? Are we just territorial? It’s actually about protection, reducing stress, and focus. In Social Psychology: Theories, Research, and Applications, Robert S. Feldman identifies three models that explain why we need our personal space.
Key Take Aways I think this actually explains the effectiveness of Feng Shui and why it helps you feel good.

Your personal bubble can help reduce your stress. When people are in our immediate space, the threat of potential aggression has more impact. Our bodies go into red …

In The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It, Michael E. Gerber, writes about how each of us has different personalities inside and how they can work against us.
Every One of Us is a Set of Different Personalities
Gerber writes:
“Is it any wonder we have such a tough time keeping our commitments to ourselves?
It’s not that we’re indecisive or unreliable; it’s that each and every one of us is a whole set of different personalities, each with his own interests and way of doing …

Photo by TheDreamSky ??? ??
The “Can’t Lose” System is a way to combat your fear of failure. It works by listing your fears, exposing distorted thinking, and identifying ways to cope.
In Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated, David Burns writes about using the Can’t Lose System.
Key Take AwaysHere’s my key take aways:

List your worst case fears.  Start by listing your worst case fears.  This gets them out of your head and down on to paper where you can analyze them.
Rationalize your list.  Look at …

Photo by ausigall
You get what you measure. Measuring can be as simple as using a wrist counter and clicking each time you do a behavior you want to reinforce.
In Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated, David Burns shares an example of how one of his patients gained self-confidence using this very technique.Key Take AwaysHere’s my key take aways:

Count what counts.  Step one is to decide to count your positive actions.  It’s easy for your positive actions to go unnoticed.  It really depends on what …