In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), a strategy is a recipe for results.  It’s how we order and sequence our experiences to produce a specific result. A simple way to think of a neurological strategy is it’s what you do in your mind when you do something. They are the thought patterns that produce our results. We have strategies for everything we do from falling in love to getting motivated, to feeling depressed. We aren’t usually conscious of them.  If we know what they are, then we can use our strategies to get in a particular state more effectively.  For example, we could quickly get into a creative state when we need to.  We can also swap out ineffective strategies for more effective ones.  We can also model strategies from successful people to learn how to produce more effective results.  For example, we can model the strategies of people who are optimistic.  In Unlimited Power : The New Science Of Personal Achievement , Tony Robbins writes about capturing and sharing strategies.

Key Take Aways
Here’s my key take aways;

• A strategy is a recipe or program for results.  In NLP, a neurological strategy is how you order and sequence your experience to produce a result. 
• Recipes for results.  A strategy is a recipe for a result. A recipe includes which ingredients, how much, what to do when, and in what order.
• Your modalities are the main ingredients.   Your fives senses are the main ingredients in the recipe: Visual, auditory, kinesthetic, gustatory, and olfactory.
• We deal with sensory input on two levels – internal and external.  We can process our sense internally or externally.  For example, when you see something in your mind’s eye, it’s internal.  When you have a feeling inside, that’s kinesthetic internal.  When you hear a whistle, that’s auditory external.  When you hear a voice in your mind, that’s auditory internal.
• (V) for visual, (A) for auditory, (K) for kinesthetic, (O) for olfactory, and (G) for gustatory.   You can use simple notation for writing down your strategies.  You can use V for visual, A for auditory, K for kinesthetic, O for olfactory and G for gustatory.
• (i) for internal, (e) for external.   When you write down your strategies, you should note whether your sensory experience is internal or external.  For example, (Ki) would be kinesthetic internal.  (Ve) would be visual external.
• (t) for tonal and (d) for digital.  When you note your auditory experience, you should note whether it’s tonal or digital.  If the tone of the voice is important, it’s auditory tonal.  If the meaning of the voice is important, it’s auditory digital.  An auditory experience that’s internal where it’s the tone that matters would be (Ait).  An auditory experience that’s external and it’s the meaning that matters would be (Aed).
• Know your strategies.  Learn your strategies behind your results.  How do you feel happy?  How do you learn?  How do you get creative?  How do you get motivated?  How do you feel loved?  How do you get into your most resourceful state? … etc.
• Model other people’s strategies.  Model the best.  Find people who are masters at what you want to accomplish, and find out their neurological strategies.

Strategies are a way to share thought patterns as recipes.  You can use these recipes to produce specific results.  Having the right recipe can dramatically speed up your results in all areas of your life.  Strategies are one part of modeling excellence.  To effectively model another person’s results, you need to model their belief system, their strategies, and their physiology.

Strategies are How You Organize Your Internal and External Experiences
Strategies are how you organize your internal and external experience.  Robbins writes:

We’ll use the word “strategy” to describe all these factors – the kinds of internal representations, the necessary sub modalities, and the required syntax – that work together to create a particular result.

Strategies are the Combination to the Vault
Strategies can help you consistently access your best resources and your best states.  Robbins writes:

We have a strategy for everything — for motivation, for buying, for love, for being attracted to someone. Certain sequences of stimuli will always achieve a specific outcome. Strategies are like the combination to the vault of your brain’s resources. Even if you know the numbers, if you don’t use them in the right sequence, you won’t be able to open the lock. However, if you get the right numbers and the right sequence, the lock will open every time. So you need to find the combination that opens your vault and those that open other people’s vaults as well.

Strategies Helps You Access a State on Cue
Mastering your strategies can help you unleash your results.  Robbins writes:

Are there persuasion strategies? Are there ways to organize material that you present to someone so that it becomes almost irresistible? Absolutely. Motivation? Seduction? Learning? Athletics? Selling? Absolutely. How about depression? Or ecstasy? Are there specific ways to represent your experience of the world in certain sequences that create these emotions? You bet. There are strategies for efficient management. There are strategies for creativity. When certain things trigger you, you go into that state. You just need to know what your strategy is in order to access a state on cue. And you need to be able to figure out the strategies others use so you can know how to give people what they want.

Follow the Recipe to Produce a Similar Experience
You can model other people’s recipes for results.  Robbins writes:

A nice metaphor for the components and use of strategies is that of baking. If someone makes the greatest chocolate cake in the world, can you produce the same quality results? Of course you can, if you have the person’s recipe. A recipe is nothing but a strategy, a specific plan of what resources to use and how to use them to produce a specific result. If you believe that we al have the same neurology, then you believe we all have the same potential resources available to us. It is our strategy – that is, how we use those resources – that determines the results we produce … So what do you need to produce the same quality cake as the expert baker? You need the recipe, and you need to follow it explicitly. If you follow the recipe to the letter, you will produce the same results, even though you may have never have baked such a cake before in your life.

Which Ingredients
Part of the recipe is knowing which ingredients you need.  Your five sense are the key ingredients.  Robbins writes:

What does a recipe tell us that empowers us to take effective action? Well, one of the first things to tell us is what ingredients are needed to produce the result. In the “baking” of human experience, the ingredients are our five senses. All human results are built or created from some specific use of the visual, auditory, kinesthetic, gustatory, and olfactory representational systems.

How Much
You need to know how much of each of the ingredients you need.  Robbins writes:

What else does a recipe tell us that allows us to produce the exact same result as the person who created the recipe? it tells us the amounts we need. In strategies, we can think of the submodalities as being the amounts. They tell us specifically how much we need. For example, how much visual input — how bright, how dark, how close is the experience? What’s the tempo, the texture?

What To Do and In What Order
You also need to know what to do and in which order to write the recipe.  Robbins writes:

If you know what the ingredients are and how much to use, can you now produce the same quality of cake? No, not unless you also now the syntax of the production — that is, when to do what, and in what order. what would happen if in baking the cake you put in first what the original baker put in last? Would you produce a cake of the same quality? I doubt it. If, however, you use the same ingredients, in the same amounts, in the same sequence, then you will of course produce similar results.

Internal and External Sensory Input
Our experiences can be external or internal.  Robbins writes:

We deal with sensory input on two levels — internal and external. Syntax is the way we put together the blocks of what we experience externally and what we represent to ourselves internally. For example, you can have two kinds of visual experience. The first is what you see in the outside world. As you read this book and look at the black letters on the white background, you’re having a visual experience. The second is visual internal. … The same is true of the other modalities. You can hear a train whistle outside your window. That’s auditory external. Or you can hear a voice in your mind. That’s auditory internal.

Capturing and Sharing Strategies
You can use simple notation to capture and share strategies.  Robbins writes:

In order to create a recipe, we must have a system to describe what to do and when. So we have a notation system to describe strategies. So we have a notation system to describe strategies. We represent sensory processes in a shorthand notation, using V for visual, A for auditory, K for kinesthetic, I for internal, e for external, t for tonal, and d for digital. When you see something in the outside world (visual external), it can represented as Ve. When you have a feeling inside, it’s Ki. Consider the strategy of someone who gets motivated by seeing something (Ve), then saying something to herself (Aid) that creates the driving feeling (Ki) inside. This strategy would be represented in the following way: Ve-Aid-Ki. You could “talk” all day to this person about why she should do something, and it’s highly unlikely you’d succeed. However, if you “showed” her a result and mentioned what she would say to herself when she saw it, you could put that person into state almost on cue.

Additional Resources

• NLP Strategies – The Mind -Body Connection to Behavior

My Related Posts

• Eliciting a Strategy
• Beliefs on Which NLP is Based
• Step into Your Future
• PRIEST for Well-Formed Outcomes

A friend of mine sent me an email titled “Twelve Little Laws of Life.”   The laws were short and sweet and I was impressed.   I hunted down the original author Tom Hoobyar.  Tom said I was free to republish the laws.  Here are the 12 laws of life, followed by my take on them. 

The 12 Little Laws of Life
Here’s Tom’s 12 little laws of life:

• SELF-MANAGEMENT AND PEOPLE SKILLS ARE THE KEYS TO YOUR SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS.
• YOU ARE AT THE CENTER OF YOUR UNIVERSE. STAY THERE!
• WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MOST IS WHAT YOU GET.
• YOU MAKE YOUR HABITS AND THEN YOUR HABITS MAKE YOU.
• GUILT ENSLAVES YOU. RESPONSIBILITY LIBERATES YOU.
• “OBLIGATIONS” ARE A FRAUD.
• EXPECT LESS FROM OTHERS AND MORE FROM YOURSELF.
• NOBODY WAKES UP IN THE MORNING CHOOSING TO BE THE VILLAIN.
• THERE IS NO “HAPPILY EVER AFTER” IN THE REAL WORLD.
• THERE IS A HELL, AND IT STARTS EARLY.
• YOU CAN CREATE PARADISE ON EARTH. MANY PEOPLE DO.
• IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE.

My Take on the 12 Little Laws of Life
To me, the laws seem robust and succinctly capture the heart of a lot of lessons that people have learned the hard way, myself included.  I like the fact that the laws are consistent with some of the best insights from Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP.)  Here’s what the laws mean to me:

• SELF-MANAGEMENT AND PEOPLE SKILLS ARE THE KEYS TO YOUR SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS.  Self-management includes what you say, think and do.  I think how you run your brain is one of the most important skills for life.  At the end of the day, it’s not what happens in your life but what you make of it that matters.  I’m also a fan of getting people on your side.  People can open doors or close them.  They can drag their feet or they can lift you up when you fall down.
• YOU ARE AT THE CENTER OF YOUR UNIVERSE. STAY THERE!    To me, this means drive your life from the inside out.  This echoes Covey’s lessons on using your internal compass.  This is about living your values and being true to you.  Don’t let other people make you something you’re not and don’t let an unstable world knock you off your rocker.  Create your firm foundation internally.
• WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MOST IS WHAT YOU GET.    When you get a new car, suddenly you see it everywhere.  You get what you focus on.  if you want to find what’s wrong with things, you always can.  If you want to find what’s right with things, you can do that too.  If you want lead a life of magic, than focus on magic.  If you want a life of tragedy, then focus on tragedy.  You’re the director of your life, so ultimately you need to figure out what to point your camera at.
• YOU MAKE YOUR HABITS AND THEN YOUR HABITS MAKE YOU.  So true!   Any habit has inertia in the beginning.  You might bootstrap yourself with motivation.  Maybe a Rocky movie or Karate Kid.  Eventually though, your motivation wears thin or wears off entirely.  Your self-discipline though keeps you going.  Self-discipline is how you control your behavior for a longer-term benefit.  Eventually, your habit is burned into your body.  It’s a part of you.   It supports you.  What you say, think and do is a sum of your habits.  Your habits are either by design or by default.  You’re the architect of your life.  If you want a new design, start with your habits.
• GUILT ENSLAVES YOU. RESPONSIBILITY LIBERATES YOU.   Own it.  Taking responsibility liberates you from the guilt.  When you don’t take responsibility, guilt is a obvious response. 
• “OBLIGATIONS” ARE A FRAUD.   An obligation is a requirement to take some course of action.  Be flexible in your approach.  Turn your “have tos” into “choose tos.”  You know the saying, “The only thing certain is death and taxes,” by Benjamin Franklin.  You also know the saying, “rules are made to be broken.”  Don’t limit yourself by limiting your thinking.
• EXPECT LESS FROM OTHERS AND MORE FROM YOURSELF.  Don’t hold others to the bar you set for yourself.  Set a bar that makes sense for you.  Challenge yourself.   Surprise yourself.  Continuously raise the bar and stretch yourself.
• NOBODY WAKES UP IN THE MORNING CHOOSING TO BE THE VILLAIN.  People do the best they can with the resources they’ve got.  Forgive and forget.  Don’t take things personally.  People aren’t out to get you.  Assume people have the best intentions, you just might not agree with their approach. 
• THERE IS NO “HAPPILY EVER AFTER” IN THE REAL WORLD.  Happiness isn’t something you work towards and then achieve and then enjoy the rest of your life.  Life’s not static.   When you stop climbing, you start sliding.   You also can’t put happiness out of your reach.  if only you get this job, or if only you get that house, or if only you get this or that.  Happiness is from the inside out.   You make it a part of your daily existence.
• THERE IS A HELL, AND IT STARTS EARLY.   You can create your own Hell on earth.  Many people do it every day.  It’s the choices they make in terms of what they say, think, and do.  You can be a slave to your own thinking, or your thinking can unleash your best self, and your best life.
• YOU CAN CREATE PARADISE ON EARTH. MANY PEOPLE DO.    Decide to be happy.  Find the joy in your life.  There’s a lot of people in worse scenarios than you that found happiness.   There’s lots of examples of people with better scenarios than you  that make themselves miserable every day.
• IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE.  Each moment is a new moment of choices.  Each moment is a new moment to start from scratch.  Imagine each moment is a fresh start.  Baggage wears you down.  Don’t bring any baggage with you.  Instead, carry forward lessons learned. 

My Related Posts

• The Change Frame
• Choose “How” Questions Over “Why” Questions
• Beliefs On Which NLP is Based
• Meta-Programs and Intrinsic Values in NLP

"Questions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are." — Oscar Wilde

If you’re not getting what you want, you might not be asking the right way.

It’s an easy trap to fall into.  It’s easy to ask, but it’s not so easy to ask well.  It takes practice.  Even with practice, I still fall into the traps of asking too generic a question, or asking the wrong person.  However, I catch myself faster, and it’s easy to course correct, because I know what asking intelligently looks like.

In Unlimited Power : The New Science Of Personal Achievement, Anthony Robbins writes about asking intelligently and precisely to get the results you want.

How To Ask More Intelligently
According to Tony, here are the steps:

1. Ask specifically
2. Ask someone who can help you
3. Create value for the person you’re asking
4. Ask with focused, congruent belief.
5. Ask until you get what you want

It looks simple right?  That’s the beauty.  The challenge is to apply it.  For example, when you ask specifically, really figure out what you need.  A way to do this is to figure out, what do you need somebody to do.  What’s the action?

When it comes to asking somebody who can help you, find somebody who has actually solved the problem you have, or has the resources to help you.  It’s fun to share problems with friends, but if you need results, check that you’re asking who can actually help.

People help those who help themselves.  They also help people who bring something to the table … a game of "tradesies."  They also want to know what’s in it for them.  If you can create value, so it’s not just one-way, you up level your game, and create the win-win.

Show a little conviction.  If you’re waffling in what you want, then it’s hard for people to sign-up to help.  Ask with focus, and believe in what you ask for.

Keep asking until you get what you want.  But don’t keep asking the same way if it’s not working.  Change your approach.  Maybe you need to ask a different question.  maybe you need to ask a different person.  Maybe you need to find a more valuable proposition.

My Related Posts

• Precision Model for Language Pitfalls
• Choose "How" Questions Over "Why" Questions
• Outcome Questions
• Framing Compelling Arguments

Photo by Eleaf.

"Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers." — Anthony Robbins

Why are you stuck?  That’s not a very empowering question.  You’ll just figure out reasons for why you’re stuck.  Instead, ask a question like "how can you move forward?" or "how might you accomplish that?"  The key is to ask "how" questions over "why" questions. 

In Unlimited Power : The New Science Of Personal Achievement, Tony Robbins writes about choosing "how" questions over "why" questions.

Key Take Aways
Here’s my key take aways:

• Choose "how" questions over "why" questions.
• Don’t dwell on what’s wrong, focus on what’s right.
• Find a way to move forward.

Good Communicators Move Forward
Good communicators focus on moving forward over rationalizing why something’s wrong.  Robbins writes:

Good communicators aren’t interested in rationalizations of why something is going wrong.  They want to find out how to do it right.  The right questions will lead you in that direction.

Choose "How" Questions Over "Why" Questions
You should choose "how" questions over "why" questions.  Robbins writes:

Here’s another important frame.  Choose "how" questions over "why" questions.  "Why" questions can get you reasons and explanations and justifications and excuses.  But they usually don’t come up with useful information.  Don’t ask your kid why he is having trouble with algebra.  Ask him what he needs to do to perform better.  There’s no need to ask an employee why he didn’t get a contract you were bidding for.  Ask him how he can change so you’ll be certain to get the next one.

My Related Posts

• Asking Better Questions
• Outcome Questions
• Step Into Your Future

Photo by Alaskan Dude.

"A major stimulant to creative thinking is focused questions. There is something about a well-worded question that often penetrates to the heart of the matter and triggers new ideas and insights." — Brian Tracy

How can you ask better questions to improve your effectiveness?  By asking "outcome questions" you can change direction toward the outcome and away from the solution. 

I actually use this technique effectively at work, but I call them "solution-focused questions."  Basically, I focus on how to move forward and getting clarity on where we want to go.  This helps keep the team in a resourceful state rather than get bogged down in problems and excuses.

In Unlimited Power : The New Science Of Personal Achievement, Tony Robbins writes about asking better questions using "outcome frames" and "outcome questions."

Key Take Aways
Here are my key take aways:

• Move towards solutions - Move away from the problem and towards the solution using "outcome frames" and "outcome questions."
• Ask outcome questions – Use outcome questions to move forward and avoid getting stuck in analysis paralysis.
• Focus on the desired outcome – No matter how bad the situation is, there’s always a desired outcome.  Focus on that.

Example Outcome Questions
Robbins provides examples of "outcome questions":

• "What do I want?"
• "What is the objective?"
• "What am I here for?"
• "What do I want for you?"
• "What do I want for me?"

Outcome Frame
Reframe questions away from the problem and towards the solution.  Robbins writes:

There are other ways to direct communication by asking the right questions.  One is the "outcome frame."  If you ask someone what’s bothering them or what’s wrong, you’ll get a long dissertation on just that.  If you ask, "What do you want?" or "How do you want to change things?" you’ve redirected your conversation from the problem to the solution.

Outcome Questions
Change from the problem to the outcome using "outcome questions":  Robbins writes:

In any situation, no matter how dismal, there’s a desirable outcome to be achieved.  Your goal should be to change direction toward that outcome and away from the problem.  Do this by asking the right questions.  There are any number of them.  In NLP, they’re referred to as "outcome questions."

My Related Posts

• PRIEST for Well-Formed Outcomes
• Step Into Your Future
• Cooperative Controversy Over Competitive Controversy
• Framing Compelling Arguments

Photo by bryanrmason.

One of the best books I’ve found for simplifying NLP into practical application is Brilliant Nlp: What the Most Successful People Know, Say and Do , by David Molden and Pat Hutchinson.

NLP is a set of techniques and strategies for modeling excellence. I use NLP for practical things from building rapport to learning success from others. The most important thing I learned from NLP is how changing your thinking, feeling, and doing, changes your results.

My Book Nuggets
Here are my nuggets from the book so far:

• Beliefs on Which NLP is Based
• How To Elicit a Strategy in NLP
• How To Reduce Generalization, Deletion, and Distortion to Improve How You Think, Feel, and Act
• Meta-Programs and Intrinsic Values in NLP
• How To Use PRIEST to Create Well-Formed Outcomes
• Satir Categories
• How To Step Into Your Future to Visualize Your Success

My Review
It’s a short book with a fast pace. The book doesn’t dwell on theory and background. Instead, it’s a fast tour of NLP’s main features and how you can use them. What I like most about the book is that it gets you up and running fast. NLP could easily be treated as a either an esoteric art or a deeply complex subject with lots of implementation details. Instead, the authors give you a simple but effective framework with practical techniques you can use today.

The Precision Model
You can use your right and left hand to remember the keys to precision. Robbins outlines the roles your fingers play:

Deletions, Distortions, and Generalizations
These are some common types of imprecision:

• Universals. Universals are fine when they are true. For example, you might say that all people need oxygen. Universals aren’t good when we go from a limited truth to a generalized untruth. For example, you might hear noisy kids in the street and say that kids today have no manners. It’s a generalization to imply all kids have no manners.
• Should, Shouldn’t, Must, Can’t. These statements are limiting and paralyzing. Worse, they are often generalizations. Generalizations get in the way of effective action. For example, if you tell yourself you can’t do something, you give yourself an excuse not to try.
• Verbs. Clarifying verbs can reveal useful information about underlying actions. For example, if somebody tells you they feel depressed, they are just describing their state. That’s not very actionable. It’s more actionable when you find out what they do that makes them feel depressed. For example, their depressed state may be from the way they carry their themselves and/or their very specific thought patterns.
• Nouns. If you hear unspecified nouns (people, places, or things), that’s fluffy language. For example, somebody might say, “they never understand me.” That’s not very actionable, if you don’t know who “they” are. You need to know the “who specifically” and the “what specifically.”
• Too much, Too many, Too expensive. These phrases are a form of deletion.

How To Use the Precision Model
To use the precision model, you bring your two fingers together and you ask clarifying questions:

• Universals. When you hear a universal statement that’s fluffy, such as all or every or never, bring your right and left pinkies together. Your right pinky is “Universals.” Your left pinky is “All? Every? Never?” Ask clarifying questions such as, “Are all kids ill-mannered?”, “Is every situation really the same?”, “Do you employees never work?” … etc.
• Should, Shouldn’t, Must, Can’t. When you hear limiting statements, either your own self-talk or somebody else’s, bring your ring-fingers together. Your right ring-finger is “Should, Shouldn’t, Must, Can’t.” Your left ring-finger is “What would happen if you did? What causes or prevents?” Ask clarifying questions such as, “What would happen if you could?”, “what prevents you from doing that?” … etc.
• Verbs. When you need clarity on what actions lead to the end state, bring your middle fingers together. You right middle-finger is “Verbs.” Your left middle finger is “How specifically?” Ask clarifying questions such as, “How specifically does that happen?”, “What specifically do you do that causes that?” … etc.
• Nouns. When you aren’t sure who or what is performing the action, bring your pointer-fingers together. Your right pointer-finger is “Nouns.” Your left pointer-finger is “Who or what specifically?” Ask clarifying questions such as, “Who doesn’t understand you?”, “who specifically are they?”, “what specifically is causing that concern?” … etc.
• Too much, Too many, Too expensive. When you don’t know what the basis of comparison is, bring your thumbs together. Your right thumb is “Too much, Too many, Too expensive.” Your left thumb is “Compared to what?” Ask clarifying questions such as, “My vacation is too much time away from work compared to what?”, “My project is too expensive compared to what?” … etc.

Key Take Aways
Here’s my key take aways:

• Generalizations get in the way of effective action. If you don’t have the specifics, it can be tough to really collaborate on the problem or identify relevant, effective actions.
• Use precision to improve sharing mental maps. If you can create a similar mental map to the person you’re communicating with, you improve your chances of effective collaboration. The closer the map approximates the real territory, the more valuable it is.
• Precision helps reduce ambiguity. I regularly have conversations with people that are using generalizations, but they actually have something specific in mind. These generalizations create ambiguity. I find that if I ask the right questions, I can very quickly find the source of the issue and move forward. In other cases, I find that the person doesn’t actually have a clear picture. Exposing this helps them start to think of more concrete examples. This reduces their own ambiguity and helps them get unstuck.
• Only use it when you need to. While the precision model is effective, you don’t want to create friction with others by questioning their every statement. This is an important distinction. The precision model isn’t for proving other people wrong or exposing their ignorance; it’s to help you better understand another person’s mental map, or clarify your own. It’s a way to cut through fluff and turn insight into action.

My Related Posts

• Satir Categories (See Computer)
• 10 Distorted Thinking Patterns

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” –  Carl Gustav Jung

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), meta-programs are the keys to the way you process information. They’re basically how you form your internal representations and direct your behavior. In Unlimited Power : The New Science Of Personal Achievement, Tony Robbins writes about meta-programs that people use to sort and make sense of the world.

Key Take Aways
Here are my key take aways:

• Use meta-programs to understand yourself and others. Meta-programs helps you understand how people sort and make sense of the world. They also help you understand your own values, beliefs and behaviors.
• Remember that people use a blend of meta-programs. It’s not this or that, it’s a spectrum of possibilities. It’s a tool for understanding how or why people behave and adapting your own behaviors to improve communication. They aren’t a tool for stereo-typing or pigeon-holing.
• Change your own limiting meta-programs. If you have a way of processing the world that’s limiting your success, find a way to consciously adapt. Identifying your own meta-programs you use is a start. Once you have awareness, you can see how this shows up.

Ultimately, I think knowing how people work, helps bridge gaps.   It can also lead you to self-understanding and the better you know yourself, the better you can drive yourself.

7 Meta-Programs

1. Toward or Away
2. External or Internal Frame of Reference
3. Sorting By Self or Sorting by Others
4. Matcher or Mismatcher
5. Convincer Strategy
6. Possibility vs. Necessity
7. Independent, Cooperative and Proximity Working Styles

Meta Program #1 – Toward or Away
Robbins writes:

“All human behavior revolves around the urge gain pleasure or avoid pain. You pull away from a lighted match in order to avoid the pain of burning your hand. You sit and watch a beautiful sunset because you get pleasure from the glorious celestial show as day glides into night.”

You can use this lens for understanding whether somebody drives from pain or gain.  You can also use this for looking at yourself.  Do you find that you move towards pleasure or away from pain?

Meta-Program #2 – External or Internal Frame of Reference
Robbins writes:

“Ask someone else how he know when he’s done a good job. For some people, the proof comes from the outside. The boss pats you on the back and says your work was great. You get a raise. You win a big award. Your work is noticed and applauded by your peers. When you get that sort of external approval, you know your work is good. That’s an external frame of reference.  For others, the proof comes from inside. They ‘just know inside’ when they’ve done well.”

If you ever give a compliment and it seems like somebody doesn’t believe you, it might be because they are using an internal frame of reference.  You also can check this in yourself.  For example, do you put more stock in how you rate your performance or do you look to feedback from others?

Meta-Program #3 – Sorting By Self or Sorting by Others
Robbins writes:

“Some people look at human interactions primarily in terms of what’s in it for them personally, some in terms of what they can do for themselves or others. Of course, people don’t always fall into one extreme or the other. If you sort only by self, you become a self-absorbed egotist. If you sort only by others, you become a martyr.”

In this case, do you first think about what’s in it for you, or do you think about what’s in it for others?

Meta-Program #4 – Matcher or Mismatcher
Robbins writes:

“This meta-program determines how you sort information to learn, understand, and the like. Some people respond to the world by finding sameness. They look at things and see what they have in common. They’re matchers. Other people are mismatchers — difference people. There are two kinds of them. One type looks at the world and sees how things are different … The other kind of mismatcher sees differences with exceptions. He’s like a matcher who finds sameness with exceptions in reverse – he sees the differences first, and then he’ll add the things they have in common.”

If you ever find somebody that always seems to have to disagree with you, now you know why.

Meta-Program #5 – Convincer Strategy
Robbins writes:

“The convincer strategy has two parts. To figure out what consistently convinces someone, you must first find out what sensory building blocks he needs to become convinced, and then you must discover how often he has to receive these stimuli before becoming convinced.”

This meta-program involves what it takes to convince someone of something.

Meta-Program #6 – Possibility vs. Necessity
Robbins writes:

“Ask someone why he went to work for his present company or why he bought  his current car or house. Some people are motivated primarily by necessity, rather than by what they want. They do something because they must. They’re not pulled to take action by what is possible. They’re not looking for infinite varieties of experience. They go through life taking what comes and what is available. When they need a new job or a new house or a new car or even a new spouse, they go out and accept what is available.  Others are motivated to look for possibilities. They’re motivated less by what they have to do than by what they want to do. They seek options, experiences, choices, paths.”

You might know some people that are minimalists or you might be a minimalist yourself, and focus on just what you need.  On the other hand, you might be a seeker and always looking to expand your opportunities and possibilities.

Meta-Program #7 – Independent, Cooperative and Proximity Working Styles
Robbins writes:

“Everyone has his own strategy for work. Some people are not happy unless they’re independent. They have great difficulty working closely with other people and can’t work well under a great deal of supervision. They have to run their own show. Others function best as a part of a group. We call their strategy a cooperative one. They want to share responsibility for any task they take on. Still others have a proximity strategy, which is somewhere in between. They prefer to work with other people while maintaining a sole responsibility for a task. They’re in charge but not alone."

By understanding this pattern, you can figure out where your most enjoyable work environments would be.

Additional Considerations
Robbins provides the following suggestions:

• All NLP metaprograms are context-and stress-related
• There are two ways to change NLP meta-programs. One is from a significant emotional event.   The other way you can change is by consciously deciding to do so.
• Use NLP meta-programs on two levels. The first is a tool to calibrate and guide your communication with others. The second is a tool for personal change.
• Constantly gauge and calibrate the people around you. Take note of specific patterns they have for perceiving their world and begin to analyze if others have similar patterns.
• Through this approach you can develop a whole set of distinctions about people that can empower you in knowing how to communicate effectively with all types of people.
• Become a student of possibility. NLP Meta-programs give you the tools to make crucial distinctions in deciding how to deal with people. You are not limited to the meta-programs discussed here.

My Related Posts

• Meta-Programs and Instrincis Values in NLP
• Satir Categories
• Generalization, Deletion, and Distortion
• The Lens of Human Understanding
• Five Thinking Styles
• Six Styles Under Stress
• The Entrepreneur, The Manager, and The Technician
• The Fat Guy and The Skinny Guy
• 10 Distorted Thinking Patterns
• 13 Negative Motivation Patterns
• Six Thinking Hats
• Coping with Bulldozing Expert Know-It-Alls
• Coping with Power-Clutchers, Paranoids and Perfectionists
• Stallers, Wafflers, and Super Delegators
• Ogres and Fire-Eaters
• Master My Stories

Photo by Amirul Hilmi Ariffin.

"By concentrating on precision, one arrives at technique, but by concentrating on technique one does not arrive at precision." — Bruno Walter

You have programs for everything you do. Your programs consist of sequences of thoughts and behaviors triggered by a stimulus. In NLP terms, this is called a strategy for achieving an outcome. Really, this is an internal processing strategy. If you know about the components of an internal processing strategy, you can change it, copy an effective strategy from somebody else, or create a new one from scratch.

In Brilliant Nlp: What the Most Successful People Know, Say & Do, David Molden and Pat Hutchinson provide a technique for eliciting a strategy.

Why Strategies Matter
Strategies matter because they are the internal keys to success.  If you’re ineffective at something, chances are your internal strategy isn’t working.

Molden and Hutchinson write:

“A common reason why some people are not good spellers is the strategy they use. Poor spellers often try to pronounce words with their internal dialogue. Anyone can be a good speller – you only have to learn an effective strategy using visuals of words and not just what they sound like.  Ineffective strategies prevent people from achieving so many things. How well do you manage your finances? What about the presentations you have given? How well do you communicate with people at work? Are you a good cook? How about the way you make decisions? Can you maintain positive and fruitful relationships?”

Summary of Steps for  Eliciting a Strategy
When you elicit a strategy, you discover a sequence of thoughts and behavior, as well as values, beliefs and meta-programs. Molden and Hutchinson outline steps for eliciting a strategy:

• Step 1. Choose something to change
• Step 2. Find the Trigger and Write the Steps Down
• Step 3. Check the Strategy

Step 1. Choose Something to Change
Start with something that you want to improve.   This could be changing a habit or improving your decisions, or improving a skill.
Molden and Hutchinson write:

"Choose something you do that you would rather not do, or something you would like to improve upon – for example, motivating yourself, stopping procrastinating, improving your decision making, giving up smoking."

Step 2. Find the Trigger and Write the Steps Down 
Map out your strategy.  To do so, find the trigger or event that kicks off the process.  For example, maybe opening the refrigerator triggers when you choose what to eat or drink.   Write down the strategy or steps that you go through.  Include writing down the thoughts you think.  Include writing down how you feel.
Molden and Hutchinson provide a set of questions to find the trigger:

1. How do you know when to do this?
2. What lets you know you are ready to do this?
3. What do you do as you are preparing to ….?
4. What steps do you go through?
5. What happens next?
6. Then what happens?
7. How do you know when you have succeeded?
8. How do you test whether you have succeeded?
9. What lets you know if you have not yet succeeded?

Step 3. Check the Strategy
After you’ve written your strategy down, go back and walk through it to see if you’ve missed anything.
Molden and Hutchinson write:

"When you have elicited the complete strategy repeat it back to check for anything missing. If you want to change it, the place to do this is at the trigger point, . The object is not to remove the original strategy but to create an alternative choice, as the strategy may be useful in other contexts."

Examples of Strategies
Molden and Hutchinson provide two different examples of strategies for a decision to buy:Dennis’s strategy for deciding to buy:

1. Visualize myself using it (internal visual)
2. Do I really need it? (internal dialogue)
3. If yes, research the model/type/make/price (internal visual)
4. Who shall I ask for an opinion (internal dialogue based on external reference meta-program)
5. Ask Jack and Bob (external auditory)
6. Yes, that feels right (kinesthetic)
7. Where shall I buy from? (internal dialogue)
8. Consider Internet/shop/mail order (internal visual)
9. Yes, that feels right (kinesthetic)
10. Buy!

Beverly’s strategy to buy:

1. That would look great on me (external visual)
2. Try it on (external kinesthetic)
3. Looks good, feels good (external visual and external kinesthetic)
4. Buy!

Key Take Aways
I think strategies are one of the most important concepts in NLP. I’ve used strategy elicitation to change some bad habits, build critical thinking skills, model success, and bake in some routines for effectiveness. Here are my key take aways:

• Improve a strategy, copy a strategy, or create a new one. Strategies are your recipes for success. Use stragey elicitation to figure out somebody else’s success.
• Identify the details of thoughts, feelings and actions. Don’t just going through the motions. It’s more than the mechanical act of performing a task. Success depends on precision. Normally, you just notice behavior. If you don’t know the sequence of thoughts and the details such as the internal dialogue or visuals, you limit your success. This applies whether you’re improving a strategy, copying a strategy or creating a new one.
• Identify your strategies that work and don’t. Knowing is half the battle. Your best habits are your best recipes. Capture them for future use. Identify the habits you need to change.
• Use strategies to change habits. When you fully understand the pattern of your bad habits, it’s easier to change them. Since they are habits, it’s likely you’re on auto-pilot and you’re not conscious of all the subtle sequences of thoughts, feelings, and actions that support your habit. When you make the pattern explicit, you can change the recipe more effectively.
• Create new strategies for success. Do you have a new skill you want to learn? Is there an area of your life where you might have potential, but you need some strategies? It’s a perfect place to practice strategy elicitation.
• Model the best. Find mentors for something you want to be great at. Practice eliciting their strategies.
• Focus where you get the most return. You can tweak and tune all your habits or you can focus on the vital few. I recommend to focus on the few habits that hold you back and on the few habits that will take your game to the next level. You likely have a few unique skills that separate you from the pack. Rather than try to make all your good skills great, make a few of your great skills outstanding.

My Related Posts

• Beliefs on Which NLP is Based
• Generalization, Deletion, and Distortion
• Meta-Programs and Instrincis Values in NLP
• Five thinking styles
• How Experts Make Decisions

Photo by johntrainor.

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build.” — Robert Collier quotes

What if you could step into your future, experience your success, and look back on how you got there? What if you could do a dry run or walkthrough of your future accomplishments and actually feel your results?

In Brilliant Nlp: What the Most Successful People Know, Say & Do, David Molden and Pat Hutchinson write about a simple but effective technique from their Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) experience, that you can use to visualize your success.

Key Take Aways
Here are my key take aways:

• Do a dry run of your future. Mental simulation is a great way to do rapid pattern matching. Stepping through your future and asking your mind how you got there, puts your mind into a resourceful state. It goes into problem solving mode. You might be surprised at the results.
• Incrementally render your future. You can frame out your future and gradually add detail. Framing out your future will help you figure out the big rocks before getting stuck in details. You can add detail over time.
• Iterate on your future. Doing multiple dry runs might be better than getting stuck on trying to figure out too much. The more you do it, the easier it will get and the more you’ll think of.
• Pay attention to surprises. Maybe the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the hill. Maybe it doesn’t feel like you thought it would, and you really want something else. Maybe you find you’re missing key skills or abilities. Use the experience for reflection and consider whether you really want another path.

Summary of Steps

• Step 1. Mark a Space on the Floor to Represent Now
• Step 2. Walk to a Point in the Future and Take a Look Back.
• Step 3. Walk to a Point Further in the Future and Take a Look Back.

Step 1. Mark a Space on the Floor to Represent Now
Find a place on the floor to start from.  This place represents “now.”

Molden and Hutchinson write:

“Find a quiet space where you can visualize the journey of achievement. Mark a space on the floor to represent ‘now.’ “

Step 2. Walk to a Point in the Future and Take a Look Back.
Take a step into your future.  Walk to some point on the floor that represents your future.  Then stand on that spot and take a look back and feel your success.  Imagine you achieved all of your outcomes.

Molden and Hutchinson write:

“From this space walk to a point on the floor a particular distance away to represent the time you think it will take to achieve your outcomes. Stand on this point and look back to ‘now.’ Spend some time feeling what it’s like to have achieved all your outcomes.”

Step 3. Walk to a Point Further in the Future and Take a Look Back.
Walk to a next point on the floor that represents a time even further into your future.  Imagine you have achieved all your outcomes.  Feel your success.  Visualize what you did to achieve your outcomes.

Molden and Hutchinson write:

“Next, walk a little further into the future and turn around. Look back to ‘now’ again and visualize what you did to achieve your outcomes. Make sure your internal language is in the past tense. Once your mind has grasped the idea that you have already succeeded, visualizing what you did as opposed to what you have to do is a much more creative, insightful and far less stressful process. It’s very powerful, and great fun too.” 

My Related Posts

• PRIEST for Well-Formed Outcomes
• How To Figure Out What You Really Want
• How To Visualize Success
• Fear of Becoming Who You Truly Are
• How To Paint a Future Picture