Comments on: Five Conflict Management Styles at a Glance

By: John Deases

John Deases — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 03:42:55 +0000

What was your outcome?

By: How can conflicts be resolved at the workplace? | Workplace + Conflict = Solutions

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:39:26 +0000

[...] J. D., 2011. Five Conflict Management Styles at a Glance [online] [viewed on 1st April 2013] Available from: [...]

By: jackson matheshe osore

jackson matheshe osore — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 08:02:20 +0000

this is very useful for lifetym skills,thank you

By: Pam

Pam — Tue, 16 Oct 2012 15:43:32 +0000

I am experiencing a very ‘silly’ conflict with my boyfriend, (although in his world, I am referred to as his ex-girlfriend). No matter what I say to him he ‘does not want to get back together’, because of this silly disagreement we had. These comments that have been posted have helped me to realize that he is choosing ‘avoidance’ as a conflict management style, and I am choosing ‘accomodate’, yet we both need to be choosing ‘colloborate’. The funny thing about all this is that the disagreement is over some ‘pyrex dishes’. Yep, I kid you not, he has accused me of ‘stealing’ pyrex dishes when I moved out of our living arrangement. I have explained to him that I would not deliberately take things that did not belong to me!! But he just won’t listen. And so I am using the pyrex dishes as leverage that if he is willing to talk this out (ie: go to couple’s counseling, or get some sort of 3rd party involved to help us learn to cooperate with each other better) then I will give him his pyrex dishes back. The other side of the story is that he owes me $2,500 for some furniture that I bought while living with him, and he is not willing to give me the money until I give him the pyrex dishes. So there are two things, maybe more going on here: the trust in the relationship is not strong, and the ability for us to cooperate is not strong.
By reading your articles, I learned so much!! The one part that resonates with me the most is: “conflict is inherent to human nature due to the fact that, we either claim something from other people or we defend what we believe belongs to us”, and “embrace the opportunities of conflict. That’s a great mindset to have because you’re focusing on the mutually beneficial outcome for all parties; a learning opportunity that nourishes all parties involved.” Once people can get past resolving a conflict, things can grow stronger and deeper!! This is so awesome to learn!!

By: vishwa nath choudhary

vishwa nath choudhary — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 12:19:06 +0000

Dear Author,
you have explained with such a simple diagram, the most complicated topic an d related to everybodies’day to day life, where whether i like or not but have to face such situation.you put it in such a simple managerial style that i loved. in fact , my personal and professional experiences have supported your post. thanks a lot.
v n choudhary, a mechanical engineer superannuated from post of dy gm from an downstream oil major in india.

By: Infoshelter

Infoshelter — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 17:37:18 +0000

As you pointed out in your post, conflict is inherent to human nature due to the fact that, we either claim something from other people or we defend what we believe belongs to us. In fact, the way humans have managed conflict throughout history has been an integral part and has determined the direction of human evolution.
Modern management theory have contributed a lot towards modeling conflict and applying theoretical approaches to categorize, study and use it in a constructive manner in the workplace. I believe your detailed analysis has helped to “tame” this ambiguous, yet highly useful-in terms of progress-concept.

By: John Deases

John Deases — Sat, 30 Jun 2012 01:43:36 +0000

Very prolific and powerful. Thanks.

By: JD

JD — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 09:17:44 +0000

@ Hilary — I’m always amazed by how much clarity a simple frame or figure can bring to even complicated topics.

I really like your point about getting stuck in the wrong box and choosing to get out. It’s truly empowering when we recognize and exercise our options.

By: Hilary

Hilary — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 14:02:21 +0000

Hi JD .. I love the simplicity of the diagram .. where the choices are set out .. and so often we mindset ourselves into the wrong box and through word and deed, we nail ourselves in .. and the only way out .. is saying I’m sorry .. and getting out.

We always have options don’t we .. and therefore can make the choice that’s appropriate to those circumstances ..

Thanks – Hilary

By: JD

JD — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 02:46:57 +0000

@ Rob — I think you nailed exactly what I like about patterns — they give us options and opportunities. Rather than a “one-trick pony”, we can fill our toolbox with prove practices and powerful perspectives to draw from.