“All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to
all things.” — Stephen Covey
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Melody Fletcher on how to attract everything you want in life.
Melody has a wealth of experience from managing multi-million dollar restaurants in San Francisco, to working as a dealer in several Las Vegas casinos, to selling fiber optic network components in Germany, to running a Global IT service center for a large multi-national corporation in Spain. Whatever she tackles, she tackles with a passion.
As the voice behind the Deliberate Receiving Blog, Melody helps people find their find empowerment, freedom and happiness. In her blog, she explains the Law of Attraction in a no-nonsense, pragmatic way. In fact, she’s used the Law of Attraction in her own life to lose 100 pounds, find a way to travel the world, work only when she’s inspired, and enjoy true happiness on a daily basis.
I’ve asked Melody to share her insight and approach that everybody can use to start attracting more of what they want in their life. Without further ado, here’s Melody …
We’ve pretty much all heard the phrase "You create your own reality". Maybe it resonates with
us to a certain degree. We like the idea of being able to control our reality, of not just leaving it all
up to fate. We like the idea of being able to deliberately feel better. But isn’t the Law of Attraction
just another term for positive thinking and goal setting? Can we actually create our own reality,
or is it just about being able to look at a pile of crap and deluding ourselves into calling it a pile of
roses? If we do actually create our reality, how exactly does that happen? Prepare yourself. You’re
about to find out in nitty-gritty detail.
Everything is Energy
e know that everything is energy. Everything, including us, can be broken down into subatomic
particles and waves. What we don’t always think about is that all those particles aren’t just
independently bumping around in space. They’re all connected. We’re all part of a massive energy
field, like a giant network – each of us with our individual energy signature and yet also tapped into
and able to interact with the whole.
So, there you are, an energetic being, vibrating at a physical frequency, with all these other energy
frequencies around you. You can interpret these frequencies using your brain – a magnificent
transceiver that can translate these frequencies into signals you can understand – sight, sound,
taste, smell and touch (and other senses, but we’ll get to that in a second). So, when you look
at your breakfast, you’re actually interpreting a pool of energy as eggs, bacon and Orange Juice
(or whatever). But you’re not just floating about, hoping that something nice will drift your way
inadvertently. You have the power to draw energy to you at will by locking on to its frequency. You
just have to remember how.
You Get What You Expect
We’re conditioned to look at our reality and draw our conclusions from what we see. If we get
rude service in a restaurant, for example, we may well decide that most servers are rude in
that particular city, especially if we have more than one bad experience. The servers are rude,
therefore we expect bad service. But here’s the thing: It’s actually expectation of bad service that
causes the servers to be rude, not the other way around.
Provide the Right Input and Get Your Desired Output
Let’s say you’ve written a computer program that remotely controls a robotic dog. But every time
you tell the dog to sit, it jumps up in the air. You would not look at the dog and conclude that it’s
simply incapable of sitting or following a command. You wouldn’t say "Oh well. I guess robotic
output. If the output isn’t what you want, you go back and fix the input – you fine tune your code.
You keep working because you know that if you get the code right, you’ll get the result you want.
Fix the Code
This is exactly what manifesting your reality is like. If you don’t like the output – your reality – all
you have to do is fix the code. Here’s how:
I said that your brain is a transceiver. That means it not only receives (and perceives) energy, but
can also transmit it. The way you transmit energy is through your thoughts. Your thoughts actually
have frequencies, and you can match a thought’s frequency to the vibration of what you want.
Transmit at the exact frequency of what you want, and it will be drawn to you. That’s what the
Law of Attraction is actually all about. But how do you know if you’ve locked on to a frequency?
Emotions are Your Feedback System
You have a built in feedback system, kind of like a testing program, which is looking for the
bugs in your code. This feedback comes to you in the form of your emotions. Your feelings give
you valuable feedback about your thoughts. The closer your thoughts are to the frequency of
what you want, the better you’ll feel. If your thoughts are going to lead to the desired outcome,
you’ll experience positive emotion. If there are still bugs in the system, if you’re going to get a
malfunctioning robotic dog, you’ll feel negative emotion.
Our Reaction Causes the End Result
Note: You will feel this emotion in response to your thoughts about the subject, not in response to
the manifestation. We’ve been taught that it’s the end result that causes our reaction (being poor
causes you to feel bad), when in fact it’s our reaction that causes the end result (thinking thoughts
of poverty causes you to feel bad and causes you to be poor.) So, in theory, in order to manifest
the reality you’ve always wanted, all you have to do is think good-feeling thoughts. But how does
that work in real life?
Debugging Your Thoughts for Better Results
Let’s say you’re a single guy and you want a girlfriend. You know there’s something off in your
code, because the fabulous woman of your dreams isn’t there with you right now. So we have
some debugging to do. Now, you’re not just going to have one positive or negative thought about
having a girlfriend, and this is where it can get a bit tricky. The idea is to figure out what thoughts
and beliefs you currently have about this subject, isolate the ones that aren’t serving you and
change them to thoughts that feel better.
How to Attract Everything You’ve Ever Wanted
Here’s a summary of the key steps to debugging your thoughts and attracting everything you’ve
- Step #1 – Test Your Program.
- Step #2 – Find the bugs.
- Step #3 – Fix the bugs.
- Step # 4 – Make sure you’re running the right program.
- Step #5 – Receive your manifestation.
Let’s take a look at each one…
Step #1 – Test Your Program.
Do a visualization. Visualizations are like a dry run for life. You may think that you have perfect
control of your fantasies, but your current vibration will come through. Think of it as running your
program through a testing environment. Imagine yourself with a girlfriend and pay attention to
how you feel about every aspect of the situation. Does it feel real, or is it a fantasy that seems like
it could never happen? Do you feel good about yourself in your imagined relationship? Are you
exactly as you are right now, or have you made improvements to yourself (perhaps you’re taller,
richer, have better hair, etc.)? How does it feel when you get rid of all the fantasy elements and
just try to imagine a relationship with a nice, normal woman, with realistic traits who truly loves
you just the way you are? If anything about that scenario doesn’t feel good, you’ve just found your
Step #2 – Find the Bugs.
Isolate the thoughts that don’t feel good. What was it about the realistic visualization that didn’t
feel good? If it was uncomfortable for you to imagine yourself being in love just the way you are,
without any embellishments, perhaps you don’t feel that you’re good enough for the love of your
life. This isn’t true, but if you believe it, you’re not going to attract Ms. Right. You won’t be able to
lock on to her frequency. If you can’t imagine a real relationship without seeing yourself getting
into a fight with her, perhaps you have some beliefs about women not really understanding you or
being mean, aggressive, or having some other negative character trait. That’s just a belief too, one
that isn’t serving you. It’s just another bug in the code.
Step #3 – Fix the Bugs.
I’m going to offer you two methods for shifting your thoughts to a better feeling place. The first
is to take each limiting thought you’ve identified and shift it incrementally to a better feeling
place. This works well with big, deeply ingrained beliefs. Let’s take the belief that you’re not good
enough to attract the woman of your dreams. You’ll want to shift that to "I am good enough", but
you can’t do that all at once. Break it down into steps and spend some time getting comfortable
with each level. Don’t move on to the next thought in the sequence until you’re stable in the last
one. You’re actually shifting your vibration – changing the frequency that you’re transmitting. The
progression could look something like this:
- "I’m not good enough to attract the woman of my dreams." (Feels horrible. I’m a total
- "I have attracted some women in the past." (Feels a bit better. I haven’t always been a
- "There are some women that like me." (Feels even better. Maybe I’m not a complete
- "I’m not intimidated by ALL women." (Further evidence that I don’t always screw it up.)
- "I’m good enough to attract some women." (I do have a little bit of game.)
- "I know that deep down I’m a really good guy." (I’m not broken. Maybe not everyone sees
that, but I know who I am.)
- "If I find the right woman, I’ll adore her." (I would actually be really good for the right girl.
The relationship wouldn’t just benefit me, it would benefit her, as well.)
- "I actually have a lot to offer someone who shares my interests." (I’m actually a really
interesting guy! Not everyone shares my particular interests, but I’m passionate about the
things I like and it would be great to share that with someone.)
- "The woman of my dreams will see me for who I am. That’s part of what makes her the
woman of my dreams." (I don’t have to change myself to attract the right woman, I’ve just
been attracting the wrong women. They haven’t been a match to me.)
- "I can see how a woman could be attracted to me, especially once she gets to know me." (I
can see now that it’s possible for a woman to really like me.)
- "I’m good enough to attract the woman of my dreams." (The fact that I haven’t isn’t
because there’s something wrong with me, but because I’ve been thinking about this
situation all wrong. I just have bugs in my code, that’s all.)
Now granted, this progression is a bit simplistic, but you get the idea.
The second method of shifting your vibration is to simply change your visualization over time.
This is a fantastic and gentle way to shift all of your thoughts on the subject, but can take longer
if you have some really ugly, deep seated beliefs. Simply spend some time every day visualizing
your relationship with this perfect woman. Try to be as realistic as possible – you are who you are
right now, warts and all, and she’s a real woman (not unrealistic perfection) without any major
flaws (if your fantasy girl is very vulnerable, for example, it points to a belief that there must be
something wrong with her for her to like you. That’s a bug). While paying attention to anything in
the scenario that feels off or uncomfortable, begin to change your visualization to what you want
it to be and keep focusing on that until it feels good. You might begin by seeing yourself as more
financially successful than you really are at this moment. But if you want to attract a girlfriend now
and not in five years when you have more money, you’ll want to begin to change the situation in
your visualization until you can see the girl of your dreams actually liking you just the way you are
today. When you can see this scenario and feel comfortable with it, you’ve shifted your energy on
Keep practicing your visualizations until you can comfortably run through a loving, passionate
relationship with a woman who is your equal, who adores you and whom you adore, who you
can really talk to and open up with, who shares many of your interests, who makes you feel safe
and who feels safe with you, who lets you take care of her, who takes care of you, who you can
laugh with, who doesn’t take life too seriously, and whatever else is on your wish list. Once the
visualization feels really good, you’ve found the frequency you’re looking for. Keep focusing on it
and the energy of that woman MUST be brought to you.
Step # 4 – Make Sure You’re Running the Right Program.
Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. We have a tendency to describe our desires
in terms of what we don’t want. "I don’t like girls that are too tall", "No fatties", or "She can’t be an
idiot." We do this a lot more than we realize. But that’s like designing the program for the robotic
dog and listing all the qualities you don’t want it to have. "When I tell it to jump, I don’t want it
to roll over" would not be part of the design process. It could take years to list all the results you
don’t want! We don’t do this when designing a program, a building or anything else. But we do it
when we’re creating our reality. And then we wonder why we get so much of what we don’t want!
Focus all of your energy on what you do want. Whatever frequency you transmit will be drawn
to you, whether you like it or not. You might not feel good – your emotional feedback system will
be screaming at you the whole time, but you can certainly attract all kinds of horror into your life.
However, you can also choose to manifest what you actually do want. Remember that you can run
more than one program at a time. Whichever one you give more attention to is the one that will
show up in your reality. It’s up to you what you want to focus on.
Step #5 – Receive Your Manifestation.
Now that you’ve locked on to the frequency of what you want, it’s time for you to receive what
you’re attracting. Pay attention to synchronicities or coincidences. You might notice a lot more
attractive women than you did before. Women in general will be nicer to you. You’ll find it easier
to talk to those women. The quality of the women in your life, even if they’re not there in a
romantic way, will begin to rise.
This is also the point at which you want to take action. Get out there more. The Universe will have
a hard time bringing you together with your dream girl if all you do is sit at home. Sure, the pizza
delivery girl could be the one, but why limit the distribution channels like that? Expect that you’ll
meet that awesome woman and start to take action that aligns with that. If your intuition tells you
to go and talk to a particular girl, do it. Notice that the action part comes last. You’re not going
to bars in desperate search of love, while believing that you’re never going to find it. You have to
get your mindset right first, and then take action from that place. When you take the time to fix
your vibration first, the action part is less about "making it happen", which is hard and frustrating,
and all about giving the Universe more chances to bring your manifestation to you, which is much
easier and more fun. Take it easy, don’t force yourself to do things you don’t want to do. If you’re
terrified of talking to women, for example, practice making eye contact first. It’s all about taking
baby steps and getting comfortable with each one before moving on.
Pay attention to how your reality is changing and be open to it. This is the beginning of your
program’s output – evidence of what you’re attracting. The more successfully you’re focusing on
the frequency of what you really want, the better these manifestations will be. If there are any
unwanted elements, you can still fine tune your input, make small adjustments. You might meet
a woman who’s a little bit controlling, for example. Then you can focus on the fact that you want
an easy going woman in your life. Add that to your visualization. As long as you keep focusing on
that good-feeling frequency, and refrain from focusing on the bad feeling frequency, the energy
of what you’re locked on to must come into your physical reality. That’s the Law of Attraction in
Create Your Own Reality … The World Will Open Up for You
So, have I convinced you that you create your own reality? Why not give it a try and see what
happens? This way of thinking takes a little getting used to, but once you wrap your head around
the "input = output" model, you begin to see evidence of it everywhere. The negative co-worker
who complains all day long has more to complain about than anyone else (instead of the other
way around). The friend who keeps telling you that all women are users somehow keeps meeting
nothing but gold diggers. You’ll begin to notice the patterns in others and eventually, in yourself.
When you begin to view everything in terms of energy, it all begins to make sense. And once you
realize the degree of control you have over your own experience (it isn’t about seeing crap as
roses. You can actually shift your focus from the crap to the roses that were there all along), the
whole world opens up to you. You can create anything you want. All you have to do is remember
that you have the ability to change the code.
Melody Fletcher helps others find the empowerment, freedom and happiness that every one of us truly deserves. You can visit her at her blog at http://www.deliberateblog.com and you can explore her site http://www.deliberatereceiving.com, where she explains the Law of Attraction in a no-nonsense, pragmatic way. You can also download her Free EBook – Deliberate Receiving.