Comments on: Don’t Let Other People Push Your Buttons

By: paul

paul — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 20:39:00 +0000

this’s gud stuff guys.
now i know what to do about my slow reading speed.
i lyk the part abt PQ too.

By: JD

JD — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 18:16:34 +0000

@ Hilary — Thank you. I think time and again our best skill in life is how we can push our own buttons, but not let others push them at will.

By: Hilary

Hilary — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 10:24:38 +0000

Hi JD .. what a great post .. I’ll be back as I’d like to look through the speed reading post .. and the fact of sensing – seems a great way of becoming more aware .. I’ll be doing that for sure .. cheers Hilary

By: Alik Levin

Alik Levin — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 06:54:30 +0000

JD, any chance to join the club for MS alumni?
I like the idea of pausing and focusing on other body parts feelings. Trying it as I am typing this comment. Kind of meditation, eh?

By: JD

JD — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 12:57:05 +0000

@ Julie — “… focusing my attention on a sense really pulls you into the moment”
Beautiful way to put it.

My favorite name of a Judge I heard so far is “Oscar the Grouch.”

This article explains how to read faster, but the main ideas are:
1. Build a mental model of the material
2. Read to answer your questions
3. Use sticky notes to capture and consolidate insights and actions

The big bottlenecks to our personal reading speed tend to be self-imposed limits:
- Eye speed – We tend to move our eyes way slower than we can
- Mental speed – We go slower to improve comprehension, but slow is not the answer — it’s focus, and asking the right questions to ourselves.
- Subvocalization – We tend to sound things out unecessarily, when reading to our selves.

@ Aaron — Great insights.

It’s true — our Judges and Sabateurs can set the tone and expectations for our interactions.

One comment that a colleague made is that what we see in ourselves. When we recognize our own Judge or Sabateurs in others, we can show more compassion or empathy, to see past, and help them find their Sage.

By: Aaron J

Aaron J — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 11:51:52 +0000

Fun post JD. A friend has made the observation that others tend to pick up on the voice of our judge and saboteurs, and can even begin to agree with it, to reinforce it. My wife and I try to be very aware of this when we counsel or mentor people, being alert to recognize them. Often these scripts come from the deepest areas of our woundedness. A fun exercise is to recognize them, then to run in the opposite spirit.

By: Julie

Julie — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 09:47:38 +0000

This is a fantastic article! I absolutely loved it. I’d like to know your ideas on reading faster. I am trying to come up with names now for my judge and my sabateurs! ha! Also, I found focusing my attention on a sense really pulls you into the moment. Thank you J.D. I think you are doing a fine job over here.

Julie

By: JD

JD — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 03:57:36 +0000

@ Evan — Today, the action framework really came together.

I was already practicing parts of the book, but this three-pronged approach is powerful.

By: Evan

Evan — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 00:58:09 +0000

I like your three actions much better than the Japanese proverb which seems to mean splitting yourself off fom your emotions. It might make you stronger (though I’m not convinced of this) I’m pretty sure it will make you sicker.