Confidence 101: The 4 Basic Insights on Confidence



“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” — Peter T. Mcintyre

Confidence is one of those key attributes that can help us with anything.

Confidence helps whether we are acting on our dreams, to having healthy relationships, to performing better on the job.

In other words, confidence is an attribute you can use on a daily basis to level up in life.

Confidence is a Skill You Can Build

How you think about confidence, can help you act more confidently.  Like many things, you can think of confidence as something you just have, or you can think of it as a skill.

Thinking of it as a skill means you can grow it. build it, and improve it over time.

For now, let’s think of it as a skill.  As with any skill, knowing a few fundamental insights can help you paint a better picture in your mind, and help you start to take more effective actions.

In the book, Managing Your Mind : The Mental Fitness Guide , Gillian Butler, Ph.D, and Tony Hope, M.D. write about the key insights you need to know about building confidence.

4 Basic Insights on Confidence

Butler and Hope write:

  1. “Confidence is not just one thing.  Each of us lacks confidence in some areas of our life, and has confidence in other areas.”
  2. “Apparently confident people may not be as confident as you think.”
  3. “We gain confidence from doing things.”
  4. “If you tell people they’re no good, they might believe it!”

Use these insights to check against your own beliefs about confidence, and choose the beliefs that empower you to be more effective.

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  1. Hi JD,
    I like to think of confidence as a skill. If we work on a specific thing for a period of time, then we will become confident doing that “thing.” I also believe most people lack confidence in at least one area of life. We should work on acquiring the skills that we personally want to acquire, that way we will become confident in doing what we want to do. Thanks for sharing

  2. @ Dia — I’m always amazed by how good we can get when we work on a specific thing for a period of time. While talent is an amplifier, there are so many skills we can build to serve us in powerful ways … confidence included.

  3. Hi JD .. working and doing bring you confidence, yes you’re moving on, succeeding and failing, but going forward – building your building blocks. Sitting still does no-one any good … sometimes the puzzle takes a long time to coalesce … and the doing may be in the mulling, pondering, working through – all doing without visibly doing – suddenly the light at the end of the tunnel will appear and the actually doing can commence.

    Just being confident can put the barrier up, and I like the way you point out that confidence is a skill and can be built on and added to ..

    .. the bravado face many put on is difficult to maintain ..

    Interesting post – thanks – Hilary

  4. @ Hilary — Thank you. Yes, sometimes the doing is the thinking and analysis.

    I think “building blocks” is a powerful metaphor because some blocks will be stronger than others, and they can be used together.

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