This is too cool not to share. During my Influencer training, we watched a video on delaying gratification. Apparently, people that can delay gratification can do better in school, get more promotions, have better relationships and lead a more successful life. Rather than do what they want in the moment, they choose what’s right for the long run. That’s the will part.

What’s the difference between motivation and discipline? I like to think of discipline as “what to do” and motivation as “why to do.” Discipline has a Latin root, but the gist is it’s about teaching. So I think of self-discipline as teaching yourself self-control and shaping your behavior, so that you’re not a slave to your motivations. Primal motivations served us at one point, but society’s changed what survival means. For more precision, you can think of discipline as shaping your thinking, feeling, and doing to adopt a new behavior. Discipline serves you most when motivation says do otherwise. At the end of the day though, I think a key is to find ways to link things to feeling good.

I created a browsable list of my favorite motivation quotes. Everybody needs a little inspiration now and then. I find that quotes and sayings are a great way to share insight and action. Sometimes, just the right words, said just the right way, are just the lift you need.

Four Dimensional Thinking is a technique to help you figure out who you are and what you want. It’s a way to reflect on your life to help you get from where you are to where you want to be. Reflecting can be structured or unstructured thinking. Thinking is just asking and answering questions. If you want better answers, you need to start by asking better questions. Four Dimensional Thinking is a way to start asking better questions about your life. When you know who you are and what you want, you gain confidence and clarity in how you live your life.

This is a follow up to my post, Manage Energy, Not Time. A few folks have asked me how I figure out energy drains and catalysts. Some people jazz you. Some people don’t. Some tasks jazz you. Some tasks don’t. Just paying attention to this fact can help you start to get a handle on your energy. Energy is your premium resource in today’s world. You need to know where your passions come from, just as much as you need to know what gets in the way. Simply noticing this will help you start to see patterns of things you do or who you spend your time with.

If you coach others or you need to encourage change or if you need to change yourself, the key is to use questions. Lead others to their own insight or your advice may fall on deaf ears. You know the saying, “you can lead the horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.” Part of the reason is, asking questions puts people into a more receptive state. When people have their own “ah has” it actually creates an emotional link. This helps the insight stick. The key of course is to ask the right questions.

I’m realizing more and more how stories help you drive a point home. It’s one thing to make a point, it’s another for your story to make the point for you. If your ideas aren’t sticking, or you’re not getting buy in, maybe a compelling story is the answer.
Stories at Work
Crafting useful stories is an art, and, now, apparently a science. Srinath pointed me to Stories at Work on 50Lessons.com. The video shares a story about using stories as a catalyst for change and a recipe …

Why do people resist change, even when it’s for their own good? Well, believe it or not, your own body can actually work against you. The good news is, if you know how your body works, you can make changes easier, or at least know what to expect. David Rock and Jeffrey Schwartz write about two reasons why people resist change, in their article, “The Neuroscience of Leadership”, in strategy+business magazine.

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Given the economic climate and some horror stories I’m hearing, I’m refocusing on some patterns and practices for feeling good.   I think motivation is one of the most crucial skills you need throughout your life.  Even if already have motivation techniques that work for you, this is a set of expert techniques from the book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated , by Dr. David Burns.
Thought PatternsBefore reviewing the motivation techniques, you should be familiar with the following thought patterns:

10 Distorted Thinking …

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How important is determination and drive for success?   Drive is a common characteristic among successful people.  The good news is that just like luck and success, drive is a continuum.  There’s examples where people with minimal drive, but they enjoy what they do, experience great success.  On the other end of the spectrum, you find ruthless obsession. 
What if you aren’t naturally driven?  Here again, there’s good news.  You can adopt successful strategies.  What you lack in personality, you can make up for in approach.
In Tactics: The Art and …

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Editor’s note: This is a guest post from author Michael Michalko.  Michael is one of the most highly acclaimed creativity experts in the world and author of the best sellers Thinkertoys: A Handbook of Creative-Thinking Techniques (2nd Edition), Thinkpak: A Brainstorming Card Deck, and Cracking Creativity: The Secrets of Creative Genius.

You may not know Richard Cohen. He is the author of Blindsided: Lifting a Life Above Illness: A Reluctant Memoir.  He lives a life defined by illness. He has M.S., is legally blind, has almost …

Why do you do what you do? … That’s the question the Golden Circle answers.  A friend of mine took me through a Golden Circle workshop and it gave me a new lens on life. It was like peeling away at an onion until you get to the inner core.  There you find your inspiration behind all your actions.  It’s the most naked answer to “why do you do what you do?”  But it’s more than that.  It’s your fire inside.  It’s where you find the inner strength to move …

Why are you stuck?  That’s not a very empowering question.  You’ll just figure out reasons for why you’re stuck.  Instead, ask a question like “how can you move forward?” or “how might you accomplish that?”  The key is to ask “how” questions over “why” questions.  In Unlimited Power : The New Science Of Personal Achievement, Tony Robbins writes about choosing “how” questions over “why” questions.
Choose “How” Questions Over “Why” Questions
Robbins writes that you should choose “how” questions over “why” questions:
Here’s another important frame.  Choose “how” questions over “why” questions.  “Why” …

Do you wait for inspiration before taking action? Don’t. Imagine if athletes only practiced when they were inspired. Inspiration is a gift, but not something you count on every day. Put your focus on mastering your craft and let inspiration happen. When it does, you’ll be ready for it. In The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles, Steven Pressfield writes about how professionals don’t wait for inspiration.
Concentrate on Technique
Pressfield writes about focusing on your technique over waiting for inspiration:
A pro views her work …

How do you get out of a slump?  A common cause of getting in a slump is low confidence.  Getting out of the slump involves stop focusing on what can go wrong, focus on what to do right, and take action.   In Overachievement: The New Model for Exceptional Performance, John Eliot, Ph.D., writes about getting out of a slump.
Key Take Aways Here’s my key take aways:

Low-confidence is a common cause of slumps.
Action helps restore confidence.
Focus on the right steps over focusing on what can go …

How do you stay motivated?  How do you keep a sustainable pace?  Do you passionately take on challenges or do you try to do just enough to get by?  To produce great results, you need a healthy commitment.  A healthy commitment is performance-enhancing, while an unhealthy commitment drains you.  In Overachievement: The New Science of Working Less to Accomplish More, John Eliot, Ph.D. writes about the distinction between a healthy and unhealthy commitment.
Healthy Commitment
Eliot considers “healthy” commitment to be sustainable and performance enhancing:

Being passionate
Striving for excellence
Earning it
Finding …

How do you create compelling arguments for change? How do you convince others to comply with your requests? How do you reduce the perceived costs of action or increase the perceived costs of inaction? In The First 90 Days: Critical Success Strategies for New Leaders at All Levels, Michael Watkins writes about framing compelling arguments.
Key Take AwaysHere’s my key take aways:

Frame your arguments. One approach is to just ask for what you want and see what happens. If the stakes are high, you’ll want to frame a compelling argument.
Know whether …

How do you get people to take action?  If your results depend on other people, how do you set the stage for action and help build momentum?  In The First 90 Days: Critical Success Strategies for New Leaders at All Levels, Michael Watkins write about how to use action-forcing events to help move people into action.
Key Take AwaysHere’s my key take aways:

Identify who does what when.  There’s a big difference between agreeing to actions and having owners that are accountable.  There’s also a big difference when you have a timeframe …

Are you working harder but producing less?  While stress can initially help your personal performance, sustained stress at too high a level can  decrease your performance.  As you try to compensate for your decreasing performance, this creates more stress, further decreasing your performance.  It’s a vicious cycle.  In The First 90 Days: Critical Success Strategies for New Leaders at All Levels, Michael Watkins writes about the Yerkes-Dodson Human Performance Curve and how it explains the relationship of levels of stress to your performance.
Yerkes-Dodson Human Performance Curve
Here’s an example of the …

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While positive thinking is a good guideline, it’s not a mantra to use while you’re performing your task. When you’re performing, the key is to stay focused on the task and take positive action. In Overachievement: The New Model for Exceptional Performance, John Eliot, Ph.D. writes about how great performers use positive action over positive thinking to produce great results.
Key Take AwaysI like the distinction between thinking about performing and actually performing. Here’s my take aways:

Don’t second guess yourself. Great performers don’t analyze …