By March 10, 2013 Read More →

Tony Robbins on the Fastest Ways to Get Over Fear

fear

Fear can hold you back.  It can hold you back in subtle and insidious ways.  Fear can also outright paralyze you from taking action.

What if you had a way to get over fear, and experience more freedom?

While fear can serve us, it can also limit us.  As Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”   It’s true.  How many times in your life, has fear kept you from doing what you really wanted to do, or limited you in some way.

You already know the downside of fear, but what are the skills you can actually use to get over your fear and start taking action.   How do you “feel the fear and do it anyway”?

With a few tools under your belt, you can get over fear more effectively so you can do the things that make you more fully come alive, and you can start doing the things you know you need to do, but fear was holding you back.

3 Ways to Get Over Fear

I was watching a video of Marlo Thomas with Tony Robbins, where Tony Robbins shares three ways you can overcome any fear that holds you back.   Keep in mind that for years Tony Robbins has helped people around the world conquer fears and phobias in record time, and do the things they never thought possible.

He doesn’t just find ways to get results.  He finds ways to get rapid results and he’s always sharing the fastest and most effective ways that actually work.

So, what are the fastest and most effective ways you can get over your fear?

Let’s take a look at three ways you can use to instantly stop fear from paralyzing you and start taking more action …

1.  Find Something You’re More Scared of

According to Tony, the first technique is to find something you’re more scared of than your fear.   Tony says,

“Some people are afraid of public speaking, or afraid of doing anything, but they’re more afraid of disappointing their children, they’re more afraid of missing out on the opportunity, they’re more afraid of not living the life they want.”

Throughout his life, Tony would also draw from stories of people who would inspire him to new levels.  Sometimes you just don’t know how much worse things could be than what you’re facing, and drawing from other people’s stories can help you put things in perspective.  It’s all relative.

2. The Rocking Chair Test

According to Tony, another way to push past fear is to find out what it’s going to cost you.    You need to find your why:   Why is pushing past your fear a MUST not just a SHOULD?   One way Tony says you can figure out if it’s worth it, is to use what he calls his “Rocking Chair Test.”  He said imagine yourself as 80 years old, sitting on your rocking chair, and you didn’t do whatever it is where fear is holding you back.  If it doesn’t bother you, then don’t do it.   But, if you feel like you missed out, and you regret not doing it, then go for it.

3. Change Your State

Tony says, “Fear is physical.”   If you can change your state of mind, then the fear will disappear.   You need to change from a state of fear or uncertainty, to a state of certainty, determination, or aggressiveness.    Tony says the fastest way to do this is to make a radical change in your body.   For Tony Robbins, the way he would do this is he would lift weights or he would go on a run, while listening to his most powerful music, anything that would radically change his state.

To recap, you can push past your fear by finding your “Why” and making it a “MUST.”  You can find your deepest fear, and think, “If I don’t face this fear, what’s it going to cost me?.”  You can ask yourself, “What’s the thing I’m even more afraid of than the action?”   And, you can change your state of mind by radically changing your body.  Get moving and use motion to change your emotions.

If you find yourself operating from fear, or that maybe some fear is holding you back, use your skills to operate at a higher level, and tap into more of what you’re capable of.

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Image by Soggydan.

13 Comments on "Tony Robbins on the Fastest Ways to Get Over Fear"

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  1. Evan says:

    All our thoughts and feelings are physical.

    Some of the later consequences of immediate breakthrough can be less positive.

    As long as you listen to fear first it may be ok to push past it. This may also leave the fear in tact. Thriving is different to achievement.

  2. Viv says:

    Thanks for this dose of encouragement. As I grow older, I find it easier to push past fear because I’ve realized that regret is a harder pill to swallow.

    Thanks again!

  3. JD says:

    @ Evan — I remember Deepak once saying, “Thoughts are things” … It was so simple, so precise, and yet, so profound.

    What I find interesting is how we shape our internal physical reality, and, potentially our external one. As Stephen Covey said, ““All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.”

    With that in mind, it’s easier to appreciate Covey’s point that we need to create a bigger gap between the stimulus and our response, so we can respond versus react. Covey’s related quote creates a nice loop back: “All things are created twice, but not all first creations are by conscious design.”

    The key is how we break or shape our loops, or just reinforce them.

    @ Viv — That is great perspective: fear is the lesser of two evils.

    The pain of regret is a powerful force, and I remember Randy Pausch saying in his “Last Lecture,” that we don’t regret the things we did, we regret the things we didn’t do. His point was that we all make mistakes, but the worst mistake is to not follow our dreams or do what we love.

  4. Alik Levin says:

    I like “Find Something You’re More Scared of.” I sometimes use it to cope with pain, for example, when I have headaches i pinch myself to the point where it’s more painful than the head ache ;)

  5. Last December I checked off an item on my bucket list: Cliff diving off the Black Rocks of Ka’anapali Beach on Maui. It was a physically terrifying experience–& eminently invigorating! Shortly after returning I was listening to a Tony Robbins lecture during which he spoke of facing our fears. The synergy of my dive combined with the power of Tony’s words resonated in a way that’s made me virtually fearless! It steeled a resolve in me for making 2013 my most fantastic year ever–& so far that’s exactly how it’s turning out! Whether it’s physical fear (skiing or Beachbody’s Insanity) or career (upgrading my geekly SQL Master certification) or stretching in other ways (accepting the Co-Lead of the Service Design Engineering Community), I feel virtually unstoppable! Overcoming fear with intention is a powerful tool–& no one’s better at it than Tony Robbins. Thanks for the succinct summary, J.D.!

  6. Evan says:

    Hi JD, Covey was right as far as it goes I think. Except with bigger things there is a back and forth (unless you can predict everything in advance). You think something up, try it, examine the results, (probably) think again, try it, and so on.

    I agree very much with Covey about a pause for thought-feeling and not just reacting.

    The problem I have with ‘pushing past’ fear is that it may leave the fear untouched. This only matters if you care about experience more than results (which I do and Tony might not, I’m not sure). Repeated exposure to stressful situation can lead to diminishing or escalating of fear. It depends on how the exposure is done. Eg. students have lots of occasions exposed to exams but this may not lead to diminishing fear/anxiety about them. Even though they usually get through them.

  7. JD says:

    @ Alik — Ah, so you are teaching yourself accupressure ;)

    @ Jimmy — You’re reminding me how much the physical and mental go together. It shows up in such simple ways. For example, if you don’t feel quite like getting up, it’s easy for your mind to rationalize why it’s fine to stay put. On the other hand, if your body is strong, it can entice your mind to go all out. When the body is strong, the mind *feels* it.

    @ Evan — I think the heart of it is what you feel *in the moment* and how you link or anchor your feeling to the experience or trigger.

    Tony is very experience driven. If you’ve heard his insights on “action signals”, he’s all about using emotions as input, and finding ways to have them serve you, vs. control you, or limit you — basically, advanced emotional intelligence.

    In your experience, what’s your most effective approach for getting over a limiting fear, while touching it?

  8. Evan says:

    Hi JD, Well there are a few things. Firstly is a ‘limiting fear’ a particular kind of fear? I’m not sure.

    Phobias can be dealt with by de-conditioning, as long as – and this is very important – the exposure is enjoyable. Otherwise the risk is making the phobia worse.

    If the fear is of consequences then I usually just make a choice. Do I care if (these) people laugh at me if I fail? Maybe yes and maybe not.

    Sometimes I realise I’m afraid of something but don’t know why. Sometimes it turns out to be I’ve been triggered and what I am afraid of is something from my past. In which case I may need to do something to deal with the past. And then I’ve got a better idea of what is going on in the present.

    Other times I realise I don’t know what I’m afraid of and it turns out to be a ludicrous fantasy of consequences. I may realise that my life won’t end or everyone will dislike me if I fail.

    I now realise that what I’m uncomfortable with is the “push” in ‘push past fear’. Where does this come from? In Tony’s case, well I don’t know Tony. For me it feels like a need to be validated by achievement. What if we said instead that we love the fear as we would a young child – you don’t want them to run your life and make your decisions for you but you do want to respect, care for and love them? I’d be happier putting things that way.

  9. Galen Pearl says:

    #1 hit home. I finally made needed changes to my life when staying the same was more scary than changing.

    Love the image in the rocking chair test. Very down to earth suggestions.

  10. JD says:

    @ Evan — Thank you.

    If you watch the video, it’s not about achievement — it’s people calling in asking Tony for specific help. It’s a powerful video.

    @ Galen — Way to go!

    I’m always amazed at Tony’s ability to synthesize and distill. He has a great way of reframing problems as challenges and nailing them.

    Whenever I think of fear, I can’t help but remember the Cowardly Lion and how he found his courage when he found his conviction.

  11. Evan says:

    Tony’s phrasing is about being ‘not enough’ – as he says we all have this we can assume it includes him. There are ways around some fears, or at least doing some things we fear. There may well be safer options we hadn’t considered.

    I suspect his “compelling” is my “push”.

    “Something to make you grow” sounds like push is in there.

    I’m not sold one part of you overwhelming another either – “flooding”.

  12. Sue Smith says:

    I couldn’t agree more! I have long ago found what it was/is that I am more afraid of. That is, actually being 80 yrs. old in a rocking chair, regreting not having done all the things I wish I had. Although that’s about 50 yrs away, time waits for no man! (Or woman : )!

    Funny how much more powerful and fearless you feel after a solid P90X or Insanity workout session! Like you can indeed take on the world!

    Tony Robbins is great! Thanks for the tips!

    • JD says:

      Our mind-body connection is strong, and it’s a great reminder how much a powerful body can inspire our minds (and vice-versa.)