By October 29, 2010 Read More →

Top 7 Lessons Learned on Dealing with Bad Emotions

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“Genius is the ability to renew one’s emotions in daily experience.” — Paul Cezanne

Editor’s note: Bad emotions happen. The test is — what will you do about them?

This is a guest post by M.Farouk Radwan from 2knowmyself.com. Farouk has a passion for helping people deal with negative emotions. He speaks from experience and has science on his side. He turns his lessons learned into simple ways you can improve your ability to deal with bad emotions and take effective action. Farouk also happens to be an online millionaire and his site generates more than 500,000 visits a month. He’s also written eight books on personal development and mastering your emotions and he’s been featured on TV for his work. Without further ado, here’s Farouk …

Here are the top seven lessons I learned on dealing with bad emotions …

Lesson #1 – Bad feelings are just signals
Lots of people never manage to understand the fact that bad feelings are signals sent by their minds in order to motivate them to do something. Just like hunger is a signal that shows that you need food emotions are signals that show you that you are in need of something.

Lesson #2 – Dealing with the root cause is the key
When most people feel bad they try to change their mood by doing something new, traveling, keeping themselves busy or even by using drugs. Bad moods intensify when you ignore them that way and the only way to end them to deal with the root cause. Think of a bad mood as a tree, if you want to get rid of it you have to cut the root instead of dealing with branches that will grow once again

Lesson #3 – 1+1= 14
The presence of two bad emotions at the same time will dramatically increase the intensity of bad feelings so make sure you never allow problems to accumulate. For example loneliness alone might be bearable, stress alone is bearable but both together would be a killer combination.

Lesson #4 – The faster you respond the better you will feel
When your subconscious mind sends you signals in the form of bad feelings and you don’t respond it will send you stronger signals later on. That’s how mild depression turns into severe depression and that’s how prolonged stress ends into nervous breakdowns. In short, respond as soon as you get the message.

Lesson #5 – Look for signs of problems
Bad dreams, insomnia, bad moods that seem to come out of nowhere are all signs that you have been suppressing bad emotions instead of dealing with them. If those signs started to appear then take immediate action

Lesson #6 – Mood swings
Mood swings are nothing more than changes in your feelings that happen when you see something that quickly reminds you of one of your unsolved problems. If for example you wanted to lose weight but were doing nothing about then seeing a swimsuit model could trigger a mood swing

Lesson #7 – You don’t have to solve the problem, you just have to start
Just like intense hunger is reduced to half the moment you start taking the first bite bad emotions are reduced to a great extent the minute you start taking actions. So you don’t have to solve your problems in order to feel good, you just have to start solving them.

Photo by lensbug.chandru.

19 Comments on "Top 7 Lessons Learned on Dealing with Bad Emotions"

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  1. Hiya J.D.,
    brilliant break down, really really helpful.
    I do agree, that “synergy” of bad emotions can result in total disaster.
    Yes also on “no need to solve a problem”, and that is usually thing I face when I am down and everyone around me want to find a solution, but I don’t need the answer only presence and peace of other person;-)
    Have a super cool weekend.
    i.

  2. Steven says:

    Great rundown on emotional intelligence! Our emotions are definitely signals, and the more we are attuned to them the better we can listen to what they are trying to tell us. I find meditation to be the best way to connect with exactly what I’m feeling and identify the root causes.

    Good read Farouk!

  3. Very practical advice here, Farouk! I love how you address dealing with the root cause. So often one will try to address uncomfortable feelings through paths that lead to temporary relief such as a cocktail, shopping, a piece of cake and the like. Feelings simply ask to be felt and acknowledged and from that point action can be taken for the better. :)

  4. Hey, J.D. and Farouk!

    I like the idea of acting fast on bad feelings. We can change our perception of any situation. It’s all inside! “Bad” feelings are all related to fear. That root cause tangles itself up in and often disguises itself as anger and sadness.

    Awesome advice! You guys and Chris Edgar have got it going on!

    xo

  5. Sandra Lee says:

    Hello Farouk and J. D.

    This is a simple yet useful outline targeting the main things we need to know about negative emotions. I find #4 very important – having an advanced warning system, being aware of the early warning signs.

    Thanks!

  6. Evita says:

    Hi Farouk and J.D.

    Excellent tips Farouk! I especially like the point about how fast negative emotions multiply and feel so much bigger then they really are, and how to take them as signals, rather then going off the deep end due to them.

    Our emotions are powerful ways in which we can better understand the world around us. We simply need to get in tune with them and understand their purpose.

  7. vered says:

    Interesting point about mood swings. I always thought they were completely random. I never realized there are triggers.

  8. Hi. J.D. and Farouk,

    Wish I’d had this info during my turbulent twenties. #6 really spoke to me. Yes, a reminder of what’s still unresolved. We learn to suppress and sweep under the rug rather than pick up the problem and ask it what the problem is. Thx. G

  9. Farouk: Great post and it is so helpful to see bad emotions and how to deal with them broken into easy to understand pieces. I think what you said was really helpful about getting to the core of the issue. You really do have to learn how to manage through bad emotions and that means you have to get at the core of the issue so that it doesn’t continue to resurface.

  10. Farouk says:

    @Ivana
    thank you dear for your comment :)
    @Steven
    thank you for the addition :)
    @clearly composed
    you got my point exactly dear, thank you:))
    @Jannie
    thank you so much dear:)
    @Sandra
    yes sandra, thank you:))
    @Evita
    glad you liked it dear, thank you :)
    @Vered
    really glad the post helped:)
    @Giulietta
    welcome dear :)
    @Sibyl
    thank you for the addition dear:))

  11. yay, shame on me!;-) I have noticed only now, that it was a post by Farouk!;-) sorry.
    well done and ahlan Farouk!

  12. Kate says:

    Hi Farouk,

    I love this message. In todays world of quick fixes, people want a quick solution to gloss over their negative emotions. To be blunt, there isn’t one!
    I look at physical health in this way e.g. if you have a headache, what is the use in a painkiller, it doesn’t tell you what is causing the headache, just masks the symptom. And that symptom is a warning something is wrong.
    I have never really related this concept to emotional health so thank-you very much for proving a valable link.

  13. Hilary says:

    Hi JD and Farouk .. we really need these lessons .. I know someone whose glass is always (or so it seems to me) half empty .. and going down .. it’s never half full of positives! If we think and act half full and positive – boy does it go a long way to keep a smile up and get encouragement and support from others ..

    Good to read .. and great to meet Farouk .. Hilary

  14. Paul Zelizer says:

    Appreciate this post, especially like # 7. In Law of Attraction lingo we say, “You don’t have to feel great, you just have to feel better.” When we start moving towards creating more of what we want in our lives.

    Glad I stopped by!

  15. Farouk says:

    @ Ivana
    no problem at all dear, that happens to me too sometimes :)
    @ Kate
    you are most welcomed dear,
    we belong to the same school :) the same goes for depression without a reason, mood swings….etc
    @ Hilary
    you are most welcomed dear:)
    @ Paul
    yes you are right
    thank you for the comment :))

  16. Lauren says:

    I found the first lesson really relevant because it’s so easy to forget that feelings can be signals. Sometimes you just get caught up in your emotions. Also, even when you realize it, you often still disregard it, thinking that it’ll eventually go away.

    Thanks for the post!

  17. John Halter says:

    Great post! These are really useful thoughts that can be used by everyone. Thank you.

  18. Abyooda says:

    what a great article, i think for example if someone felt stressed and he didn’t know that he is stressed, like he didn’t care about the signals his mind gives, he will end up to a nervouse breakdown, and the practicle solution about this matter is to sleep well

  19. Jason Ellis says:

    I totally relate to #4. When my emotions get the best of me, I just NEED to get all my feelings out in the open. I’m a Cancer by sign so maybe it’s just my ingrained sensitivity :) Thanks for this article.