How To Change Your Life with Skill

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” — Jim Rohn

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What Does “Change Your Life” Mean?
1. Change Your Words
2. Change Your State
3. Change Your Thoughts
4. Change Your Emotions
5. Change Your Motivation

Are you feeling stuck in a rut, wanting to make a change in your life but not sure where to start?

Whether it’s breaking a bad habit, pursuing a new career path, or enhancing your overall well-being, the idea of changing your life can be daunting.

But it’s important to remember that change is possible, and with the right skills, anyone can make it happen.

In this article, we’ll explore effective strategies for changing your life with skill, providing you with the tools and mindset needed to transform your life and achieve your goals.

So, are you ready to take charge of your life and start making positive changes?

Let’s get started!

What Does It Mean to Change Your Life? (A Definition)

When we decide to change our lives, the possibilities are endless. We may want to break free from bad habits, find a more fulfilling career, or live a minimalist lifestyle.

The term “change” can mean different things to different people, but there are strategies that can help us achieve our goals, regardless of what they may be. Whether we’re trying to quit smoking or start a business, these strategies can be helpful in creating positive change in our lives.

Let’s explore these strategies and start taking steps towards the life we truly desire.

1. How To Change Your Life by Changing Your Words

Change your language, change your life.  To change your language, change your words.

Start with words.

Your choice of words can have a significant impact on how you perceive them emotionally.

Words carry a certain “feeling” that varies from person to person, and altering your language can change how you feel.

For instance, words like productivity, time management, or mission might come across as dull, unexciting, or too formal, whereas effective, success, or adventure might spark joy and enthusiasm.

For me, the term “results” holds immense power because I believe that actions should yield tangible results. Additionally, “adventure” resonates with me as it aligns with my values and ignites a sense of excitement.

Change Your Words by Using Quotes

One way to change your language is by using quotes. As the saying goes, “words have power.”

By finding and using quotes that resonate with you, you can change the way you feel and communicate about a particular topic.

For example, instead of talking about “time management,” you could use a quote like “time is a created thing.

To say ‘I don’t have time,’ is like saying, ‘I don’t want to.” This reframes the concept of time as something you create and have control over, rather than something that controls you.

Similarly, if you want to feel more motivated or inspired, find quotes that use language that resonates with you.

For example, if the word “results” is powerful for you, find a quote that speaks to that. Maybe something like “you are the master of your own destiny. Use your strengths well. They are the keys to your success and to your happiness” by motivational speaker Brian Tracy.

By incorporating quotes that use language that you connect with, you can change how you feel and communicate about a topic.

Change Your Words by Using Your Values

To change your words by using your values, you can start by identifying your core values. Once you have a clear understanding of what you value most, you can choose words that align with those values.

For example, if one of your core values is “authenticity,” you might choose to use words like “genuine” or “real” instead of words that feel fake or forced. If your value is “adventure,” you might choose words that evoke excitement and thrill, like “exploration” or “discovery.”

Using words that align with your values can help you feel more connected to your true self and can increase your motivation and engagement in tasks that align with your values. It can also help you communicate more effectively with others who share similar values.

Change Your Words by Focusing on the Future (vs. the Past, or even the Present)

To change your words by focusing on the future, you can try the following strategies:

1. Use future-focused language: Instead of talking about what you don’t want or what you’re currently experiencing, focus on what you do want and what you’re striving to achieve in the future. Use language that reflects your future goals and aspirations.
2. Visualize your desired outcome: Create a mental image of your desired outcome and use language that reflects that image. For example, instead of saying “I’m struggling to get through this project,” say “I’m making progress toward completing this project successfully.”
3. Set goals and intentions: Set specific goals and intentions for the future and use language that supports those goals. For example, instead of saying “I should go to the gym,” say “I am committed to going to the gym three times a week.”
4. Practice positive self-talk: Use positive affirmations and self-talk to reinforce your future-focused language. Instead of saying “I can’t do this,” say “I am capable and confident in my ability to achieve my goals.”

By focusing on the future and using language that reflects your goals and aspirations, you can change your words and shift your mindset toward a more positive and productive future.

2. How To Change Your Life by Changing Your State

State refers to your current internal and external state of being. It’s how you feel and behave at a particular moment in time.

For example, you may be feeling excited and motivated or tired and unmotivated.

Your state can be influenced by both internal factors like your thoughts and emotions, as well as external factors like your surroundings and the people around you.

Understanding your state and how to manage it can help you to better regulate your emotions, behavior, and overall wellbeing.

Here are three effective ways to change your state:

1. Change your physiology: Your physical posture and movements can significantly impact your emotional state. If you’re feeling down or anxious, try standing up tall, taking a few deep breaths, and moving your body in a way that feels good to you, such as stretching or going for a walk.
2. Change your focus: What you focus on can greatly impact your state. If you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, try shifting your focus to something positive, such as a happy memory or an inspiring goal. You can also practice mindfulness or meditation to help you refocus and calm your mind.
3. Change your language: The words you use to describe your experiences can influence your emotions and state. Try using positive, empowering language to describe yourself and your situation, even if it feels challenging. For example, instead of saying “I can’t do this,” say “I’m working on this and I’m making progress.” This can help you shift your mindset and change your state for the better.

I found the most effective way to change my state is to change my focus by changing my question.    Let’s say you’re feeling stuck and unmotivated in your job. You might be asking yourself questions like, “Why am I so bored at work?” or “Why can’t I find a better job?”

These questions are likely to lead to negative, unhelpful answers that reinforce your current state of feeling stuck and unmotivated.

Instead, try changing your questions to focus on finding solutions and taking action. For example, you could ask yourself, “What can I do to make my job more interesting?” or “What steps can I take to find a job that’s a better fit for me?”

By asking these types of questions, you’re more likely to come up with positive, actionable solutions that can help you change your state from feeling stuck to feeling motivated and empowered.

3. How To Change Your Life by Changing Your Thoughts

Changing your thoughts is the first and most crucial step towards changing your life. Our thoughts precede our emotions and actions, and depending on our thoughts, we may experience different emotions or take different actions.

For instance, if I’m trying to eat healthier, before eating a burger, I have a thought of craving a burger. I might then rationalize why it’s okay to eat the burger (more thoughts).

Then I may start thinking about going to a fast-food restaurant.

The emotions (such as hunger or excitement) follow afterward, and then the behavior (eating the burger) comes at the end of this process (although other thoughts and emotions may also follow the behavior).

As our thoughts guide our actions, shifting our thoughts in specific ways can make it easier to change.

Here are a few strategies that can help you get started.

Change Your Thoughts by Changing Your Mindset

One of the most powerful mindsets for improving your life is the growth mindset.

A growth mindset is the belief that abilities can be developed over time and with hard work. Those with a growth mindset strive to learn new approaches, try harder, and seek out feedback when they are stuck.

This mindset has been linked to success in various areas of life. Simply put, a growth mindset is the belief that you can do what you set your mind to.

Researchers have shown that the brain has the ability to change and grow even as adults, which means we can learn new things and develop new skills.

When we have a growth mindset, we believe that we can change, even when things are tough. This belief can help us achieve more than we thought possible.

However, without a growth mindset, we may not believe that we can change, and as a result, we may not try.

That’s why cultivating a growth mindset is crucial for changing your life.

Change Your Thoughts by Changing Your Expectations

Positive expectations are a powerful thought process that can help you change your life. Positive expectations simply mean believing that things will work out well.

Research on the placebo effect has shown that positive expectations have significant impacts on outcomes. The placebo effect refers to the phenomenon where a non-active intervention or treatment results in positive change even though it’s not supposed to.

This effect demonstrates that our expectations have a huge impact on our outcomes. If we expect to excel at our job, we are more likely to do so. If we expect to have a successful relationship, it’s more likely to happen. If we believe that a new business venture will succeed, it’s more likely to do so.

Although the placebo effect isn’t 100%, simply expecting the best is often linked to positive outcomes. Therefore, it’s worth trying to cultivate positive expectations whenever possible. If you want to change yourself or your life, expect that you can.

Positive expectations can be a game-changer.

4. How To Change Your Life by Changing Your Emotions

The broaden and build theory of positive emotion suggests that positive emotions build upon themselves, eventually leading to positive outcomes like professional success and relationship well-being.

Research has shown that positive emotions generally lead to greater success, not the other way around.

Conversely, many of our most self-destructive habits are fueled by negative emotions. For instance, we might smoke to manage stress, drink to feel happier, or shop as a form of ‘retail therapy.’ Our unhealthy or undesirable behaviors are often attempts at controlling or reducing our negative emotions.

These are just a few reasons why learning how to change your emotions can be key to changing your behavior and changing your life.

To get started, here are some strategies you can try out.

Change Your Negative Emotions Using Cognitive Reappraisal

Cognitive reappraisal is a powerful emotion regulation strategy that involves reframing an experience as either more positive or less negative.

This approach can help decrease negative emotions and shift your perspective on events that might cause discomfort. For instance, if you feel overwhelmed or scared about changing the direction of your life, you can reappraise the situation as an opportunity to do something exciting that you enjoy more.

Alternatively, you can think about how the situation could be worse and feel grateful for what you have. While this strategy might not work for everyone in every situation, it’s worth trying out when you’re feeling upset by a challenging circumstance.

Keep in mind that there are other strategies we discuss here that you can also try.

Charge and Amplify Your Positive Emotions with Gratitude

Aside from strategies to manage negative emotions, there are also strategies to increase positive emotions, and my personal favorite is gratitude.

Research has shown that practicing gratitude not only has short-term benefits but also helps develop an “attitude of gratitude” that boosts positive emotions in the long term.

To cultivate an attitude of gratitude, consider checking out resources on gratitude journaling and reflecting on things to be thankful for.

By doing so, you can experience the many benefits of gratitude in your life.

5. To Change Your Life Change Your Motivation

Self-motivation is an essential internal state that drives us to initiate, continue, or terminate a behavior.

Without it, we lack the drive to accomplish our goals or make the changes we desire. Therefore, boosting motivation is critical to changing our lives in meaningful ways.

To enhance motivation, we can develop a range of motivational skills, such as initiative, commitment to goals, resilience, and the desire to improve.

These skills can be strengthened through consistent practice. For instance, to develop initiative, we can take action, seize opportunities, and move ideas forward without waiting for permission.

To build resilience, we need to practice coping with challenging situations in healthy ways.

As we embark on our journey to transform our lives, we’ll encounter many obstacles, providing ample opportunities to cultivate these skills and successfully achieve our desired outcome.

Change Your Motivation by Changing Your WHY

Changing your WHY, or your reason for doing something, can significantly impact your motivation. Here are some steps you can take to change your WHY and increase your motivation:

1. Identify your current WHY: Take some time to reflect on why you are currently pursuing a particular goal or activity. What motivates you? What is driving you to keep going?
2. Re-evaluate your current WHY: Ask yourself if your current WHY is strong enough to keep you motivated. Is it truly aligned with your values and aspirations, or is it based on external factors like pleasing others or meeting societal expectations?
3. Find a new, more compelling WHY: If your current WHY is not motivating you enough, it may be time to find a new one. This could involve redefining your goal or activity to make it more meaningful to you. Ask yourself what you truly want to achieve and why it matters to you personally.
4. Reframe your WHY: Sometimes, simply reframing your current WHY can make it more compelling. For example, instead of focusing on the difficulties and challenges of a task, try to focus on the positive outcomes and rewards that you will gain from it.
5. Keep your WHY in mind: Once you have identified a new or reframed WHY, make sure to keep it in mind as you pursue your goals or activities. Regularly remind yourself of why you are doing what you are doing and how it aligns with your values and aspirations.

Change Your Motivation by Changing Your HOW

Changing your HOW involves making changes to the specific strategies, tactics, and methods you use to accomplish your goals. Here are some tips for changing your HOW to increase your motivation:

1. Try new approaches: If your current methods aren’t working, don’t be afraid to try something new. Experiment with different techniques, tools, and approaches to find what works best for you.
2. Break it down: Sometimes, a goal can feel overwhelming or too big to tackle. Breaking it down into smaller, more manageable steps can make it feel less daunting and increase your motivation.
3. Get organized: Having a clear plan and structure can make a big difference in your motivation. Use tools like calendars, to-do lists, and project management software to help you stay on track and focused.
4. Get support: Surrounding yourself with a supportive community or finding a coach or mentor can provide the encouragement and accountability you need to stay motivated.
5. Celebrate your progress: Recognizing and celebrating your achievements along the way can help you stay motivated and feel good about the progress you’re making.

Change Your Motivation by Changing Your WHO

Changing your WHO can mean changing the people you surround yourself with or finding an accountability partner or mentor to help keep you motivated and on track. Here are some ways to change your motivation by changing your WHO:

1. Surround yourself with positive and motivated people who inspire and support you.
2. Find a mentor or coach who can guide and motivate you towards your goals.
3. Join a group or community that shares your interests or goals, where you can connect with others who can offer encouragement and support.
4. Find an accountability partner or buddy who can help keep you on track and motivated.
5. Distance yourself from negative or unsupportive people who drain your energy and motivation.

By changing your WHO, you can tap into the motivation and energy of others, and receive support and guidance towards achieving your goals.

Change Takes Practice (Seek Progress Over Perfection)

Changing your life with skill is an ongoing process that requires patience, dedication, and practice.

By developing a variety of motivational skills, such as initiative, commitment to goals, resilience, and the desire to improve, we can boost our self-motivation and take meaningful action towards creating the life we desire.

Remember, skill-building takes time, effort, and consistency, but the rewards are worth it.

With persistence, we can develop the skills needed to overcome obstacles, navigate challenges, and ultimately achieve our goals.

So, take the first step today and start building your skills to create the life you’ve always dreamed of.

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