“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.” — Raymond Hull
Is your personality nature or nurture? Studies consistently show 45 to 50 percent is nature. The surprise though is that the other 50 percent is not nurture. It’s not your birth order. It’s not whether you were in day care. Most surprisingly, 0 percent of the remaining 50 to 55 percent is determined by how your parents raised you.
Don’t worry, you can still blame your parents for lots of specific aspects of your behavior, but you can’t blame them for your personality. What is it then that really shapes your personality? Your peers and chance. This is nature’s strategy for helping you win.
In Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance
Key Take Aways
Here are my key take aways:
- Nature is half of your personality. 45 to 50 percent of your personality is nature.
- Peers and chance shape the other half. The other 50 to 55 percent of your personality is your peers and chance. Who you spend your time with matters. Your younger years shape your older years from a personality standpoint.
- It’s not your parents or your birth order. Your parents shape your behaviors, not your personality. Birth order does not determine your personality.
- Specialization is nature’s strategy for winning. Find your natural advantage, then seek out unoccupied niches. It’s a reminder to be YOUR best. .
50 Percent of Your Personality is “Nature”
50 percent of your personality is your genes. Buckingham writes:
“… we can now finally lay to rest the age-old question about which has more influence on who you are: nature or nurture. In every study of its kind, the results are always the same: 45 to 50 percent of your personality is nature. …That is to say 45 to 50 percent of your personality is due to the genes that you inherited from your mother and your father.”
The Remaining 50 Percent is Not How Your Parents Raised You
The other 50 percent is not nurture by your parents. We used to think it is, but the research says otherwise. Buckingham writes:
“And what of the remaining 50 to 55 percent? Well, we used to think that this remainder was due to nurture – how you were weaned, potty trained, disciplined, praised, whether you were in day care or not, where you were in the birth order of your siblings, and so on. We know this isn’t true. How you were raised has absolutely no impact on your personality at all. Just to be clear, 0 percent of the remaining 50 to 55 percent is determined by how your parents raised you. (Judith Rich Harris’s book No Two Alike provides an incisive description of these studies and their challenging implications.)”
Your Parents Shape Your Values and Your Behavior, Not Your Personality
You can’t blame your parents for your personality. Your parents do play an important role in shaping your values and specific aspects of your behavior, just not your personality. Buckingham writes:
“But as long as their behavior falls within the bounds of normal parenting (if there was abuse or repeated trauma in your childhood, these obviously leave their scars), how your parents weaned you or disciplined you or praised you does not affect your personality at all. And by personality, I mean it will not affect how competitive you are, or how timid, or how patient, or how outgoing, or how self-assured, or how willful, or how creative, or how focused, or how responsible, or how calm, or how positive, or any other train that might apply to you. Again, to be clear, this doesn’t imply that parents don’t matter. It simply means that which family you were brought up in has no measurable impact on your personality.”
You Can’t Blame Your Birth Order for Your Personality
Birth order has no impact on your personality. It’s just a myth. Buckingham writes:
“And neither, contrary to recent books on the subject, does birth order. Parents think it does because they are very familiar with their children’s behavior inside the home and consequently witness many examples of how elder siblings react to the younger ones, and how each child is subtly different from the others. Because parents are also acutely aware of the birth order of their children, they then draw conclusions that link a child’s behavior to his birth order.”
Your Peers and Chance Determine the Remaining 50 Percent
You can blame your peers and chance for the remaining part of your personality. Lady luck or a series of unfortunate events can play a role in your personality. It’s not about peer pressure. That’s only temporary. Instead, your peers are the most reliable information about you. Buckingham writes:
“So if it’s not parenting, and it’s not birth order, what does affect the remaining 50 to 55 percent of your personality? An overwhelming body of research suggest that two forces are at play (again, I’ll refer you to Judith Rich Harris’s book if you want to dive into the data itself). … Chance, which can mean pretty much anything, from your bad luck in suffering repeated ear infections as a child, to the random variations in your genes as you grow. (These small variations explain why we sometimes see one identical twin with a cleft palate, while the other, although genetically identical, does not have one, or why it’s possible for one to be a schizophrenic, and not the other.) …Your peers will tell you accurately (far more accurately than your family will) if and who you can dominate, if you’re funny, if and when you’re a good ally, if your ideas are interesting, if your ideas are practical, if you are trustworthy, and so on.”
My Related Posts
- Finding Your Key Strengths
- 3 Myths About Strengths and Weaknesses
- 3 Revealing Questions for Myth Busting
- Strengths and Weaknesses vs. Personality Profiles
Photo by Harlequeen
