Self Care: What is Self Care and Why is Self Care Important?

“Your self-care will never compensate for your self-love, but your self-love will always trump self-care any day.” — Kristina Mänd-Lakhani

In the fast-paced world of high-performance careers and demanding corporate environments, self care often takes a back seat to the relentless pursuit of success.

I know this firsthand from my more than two decades as a high-performance coach at Microsoft, where I’ve worked with a diverse range of individuals, teams, and leaders.

In this role, I’ve witnessed a common and concerning pattern: the gradual erosion of personal well-being in the relentless grind of professional life.

The journey of self-care is about reclaiming the most valuable relationship we have—with ourselves.

And by cultivating self-love, our self-care will flow naturally and sustainably.

In this article, we will explore the very essence of self-care, its significance in preserving our vitality, and the often-neglected cornerstone of self-love.

What is Self Care?

Self care involves activities and habits that prioritize and nurture your own health, happiness, and overall quality of life.

Here is the definition of self care according to the Journal of Counseling Psychology:

“Self care is a multidimensional, multifaceted process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and enhance well-being.”

Self care is the practice of taking deliberate actions and making choices to promote and maintain your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

Why is Self Care Important?

Self-care is essential for maintaining good physical and mental health, reducing stress, and preventing burnout.

It’s not selfish.

Self care is a responsible and necessary practice for your overall well-being.

It’s important to tailor your self-care practices to your individual needs and preferences, as what works for one person may not work for another.

What if You Ignore Self Care?

Neglecting self-care can have significant and far-reaching consequences, impacting various aspects of your life, including your physical and mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.

Here are some of the terrible downsides and potential outcomes that can result from not practicing self-care:

Burnout: One of the most immediate consequences of neglecting self-care is burnout. This state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion often occurs when you consistently push yourself to the limit without giving yourself a chance to recharge. Burnout can lead to decreased productivity, increased cynicism, and even physical health problems.
Increased Stress: Without self-care practices to manage stress, you’re more likely to experience chronic stress, which can lead to a range of health issues, including cardiovascular problems, compromised immune function, and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.
Poor Physical Health: Lack of self-care can result in neglecting healthy eating habits, regular exercise, and adequate sleep. Over time, this can lead to weight gain, decreased immunity, and a higher risk of chronic diseases like diabetes and heart disease.
Mental Health Issues: Neglecting self-care can contribute to the development or exacerbation of mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, and mood disorders. Without proper self-care, you may struggle to manage your emotional well-being.
Strained Relationships: When you’re stressed, fatigued, or overwhelmed due to a lack of self-care, your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues can suffer. You may become irritable, withdrawn, or unable to engage fully with the people you care about.
Decreased Productivity: Over time, a lack of self-care can lead to reduced cognitive function, making it challenging to focus, think clearly, and make sound decisions. This can hinder your professional and personal growth.
Lower Quality of Life: Ultimately, neglecting self-care can result in a lower overall quality of life. You may find it difficult to enjoy life’s pleasures, pursue your passions, or experience a sense of fulfillment and purpose.
Increased Risk of Addiction: Some individuals turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like excessive alcohol or substance use when they neglect self-care. This can lead to addiction and further complicate the existing problems.
Spiritual and Emotional Disconnect: Neglecting self-care can also lead to a disconnect from your inner self, your values, and your sense of purpose. This can leave you feeling lost and unfulfilled.
Ineffective Coping Strategies: Without self-care, you may resort to ineffective or harmful coping strategies to deal with stress, such as overeating, overspending, or avoidance behaviors, which can create additional problems.

Types of Self Care

Neglecting self-care can result in a downward spiral of physical and mental health challenges, strained relationships, and a diminished overall quality of life.

Practice self-care as a proactive and preventive measure to avoid these detrimental outcomes.

Self-care can encompass a wide range of practices, including:

Physical Self-Care: This includes activities like regular exercise, getting enough sleep, maintaining a balanced diet, practicing good hygiene, and attending to any medical needs.
Emotional Self-Care: Emotional self-care involves recognizing and managing your emotions in healthy ways. This can include seeking therapy or counseling, practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques, journaling, and expressing emotions through creative outlets.
Mental Self-Care: This aspect focuses on keeping your mind sharp and engaged. Reading, learning new skills, solving puzzles, and engaging in activities that stimulate your intellect are examples of mental self-care.
Social Self-Care: Building and maintaining healthy relationships is crucial for overall well-being. Spending time with loved ones, nurturing friendships, and seeking support from a social network are important forms of social self-care.
Spiritual Self-Care: For those who are spiritually inclined, practices such as meditation, prayer, attending religious services, or spending time in nature can be essential for spiritual well-being.
Relaxation and Leisure: Engaging in hobbies, interests, and leisure activities that bring joy and relaxation can be a form of self-care. This could include reading for pleasure, gardening, listening to music, or pursuing creative hobbies.
Setting Boundaries: Learning to say “no” when necessary, setting healthy boundaries in relationships and work, and managing time effectively are key aspects of self-care.

Self Care vs. Self Love

While self-care is essential for maintaining physical and mental well-being, self-love is the deeper, internal belief that underpins and sustains self-care practices.

Self-care and self-love are closely related concepts, but they have distinct differences:

Self-Care:

Actions and Practices: Self-care primarily involves the actions and practices individuals engage in to maintain and improve their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It’s about taking care of oneself through various activities and habits.
External Acts: Self-care often consists of external acts or behaviors, such as getting enough sleep, eating healthily, exercising, taking time for relaxation, and seeking medical care when needed.
Maintenance: It’s a way to maintain one’s overall health and prevent burnout, exhaustion, and physical or emotional depletion.

Self-Love:

Mindset and Attitude: Self-love is more about the mindset and attitude individuals hold toward themselves. It involves having a deep sense of respect, compassion, and affection for oneself.
Internal Feeling: Unlike self-care, which is often visible through external actions, self-love is an internal feeling and belief that you are worthy of love, care, and kindness, simply because you exist.
Foundation: Self-love serves as the foundation upon which self-care is built. When individuals genuinely love and value themselves, they are more likely to engage in self-care practices because they recognize their worth and prioritize their well-being.

Self-Love is an Important Foundation for Self-Care

Why is self-love considered an important foundation for self-care and long-term wellness?

Motivation: When individuals truly love and value themselves, they are more motivated to engage in self-care. They view self-care as an act of love and kindness toward themselves rather than an obligation or chore.
Sustainability: Self-love provides the emotional and psychological foundation for sustainable self-care. People who practice self-care out of self-love are more likely to maintain these habits over the long term because they recognize the importance of ongoing care for themselves.
Resilience: Self-love contributes to emotional resilience. When individuals love and care for themselves, they are better equipped to cope with challenges, setbacks, and stress. They are more likely to seek support, set healthy boundaries, and practice self-compassion during difficult times.
Positive Relationships: Self-love can improve the quality of one’s relationships with others. When individuals have a healthy self-love foundation, they are less likely to seek validation or approval from others, leading to more authentic and satisfying relationships.
Mental Health: Self-love is associated with better mental health outcomes, including lower levels of anxiety and depression. It helps individuals develop a positive self-image and self-esteem.

How To Practice Self Care

Practicing self-care is essential for maintaining your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

Here are three great ways to practice your self-care:

Mindfulness Meditation:
- Mindfulness meditation involves paying focused and non-judgmental attention to the present moment. It can help reduce stress, anxiety, and negative emotions while enhancing self-awareness and emotional regulation.
- Find a quiet space, sit or lie down comfortably, and close your eyes.
- Focus on your breath or a specific point of attention, such as bodily sensations, thoughts, or sounds.
- Allow thoughts and sensations to come and go without judgment, gently bringing your focus back to your chosen point of attention.
- Start with short sessions (5-10 minutes) and gradually increase the duration as you become more comfortable with the practice.
Regular Exercise:
- Physical activity is a powerful form of self-care that not only promotes physical health but also has significant mental and emotional benefits.
- Choose an exercise routine that you enjoy, whether it’s going for a walk, practicing yoga, running, or participating in a team sport.
- Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise or 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity exercise per week, as recommended by health guidelines.
- Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters, and it helps reduce stress and improve sleep quality.
Create a Self-Care Routine:
- Establish a regular self-care routine that incorporates activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.
- Start by identifying self-care practices that resonate with you, such as reading, taking relaxing baths, practicing a hobby, or spending quality time with loved ones.
- Schedule these activities into your weekly or daily routine to ensure you prioritize self-care.
- Consider creating a self-care journal to track your progress and remind yourself of the importance of self-care in your life.