When you name something it’s powerful. You have a way to reference it and share it with others. Patterns are named problem and solution pairs. They are a simple way to build and share a catalog of knowledge. You can use patterns to efficiently share strategies or principles. Rather than 100 words, you can use one word. Practices are methods or techniques. They are “how” you do something. By leveraging patterns and practices, you can improve your ability to get results. Basically, it’s a way to build a mental toolbox of insight and action to draw from.
"What's their story?" ... With one cutting question, my manager exposed the fact a colleague had only one side of the story -- their own.
We make up stories every day either to explain our own actions or the actions of others. What happens when our stories limit us or hurt our relationships? For example, have you ever jumped to the wrong conclusion about somebody's actions and later regretted it? I know I have.
Knowing the source of conflict is one of the first steps to dealing with it effectively. It's easy to blame communication as the source of conflict, but it's not always the case. In fact, it usually isn't. For example, communication is the source of conflict when styles get in the way, or there are misunderstandings about intent.
During my Influencer training, one of the key concepts we drilled into was “clarify meaningful results.” What are meaningful results? Well, before you waste time on the “how”, clarify the “what” you want, the “why” you want it, and the “when” you want it.